


Behind Blue Eyes - pt. 2

by orphan_account



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Spiraling down a drain of despair after the Eve Wars, Heero finds redemption in the most unexpected place - right under his nose.For part 1 gohere
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	Behind Blue Eyes - pt. 2

It seemed like whenever he was in a bad mood, the weather responded in kind. It was as if the Earth itself reflected his own feelings and moods, which was quite absurd considering he was a colony-born. He had little connection to the Earth, and yet the lively planet seemed to have grown fond of him. Perhaps it was thankful towards the man who had saved it from destruction. Maybe it was showing some sort of gratitude towards him by sympathizing with his emotions. Maybe that’s why it rained whenever he felt like crying, or the skies were a clear blue when his heart felt lighter. Or perhaps, he had it all backwards, and the Earth detested him. Maybe that’s why it didn’t allow the sun to shine when he was feeling down, so there will be nothing to cheer him up. Plausibly, Heero mused, it was probably just a coincidence. He was being selfish thinking that everything revolved around him.

In any case, the fact remained that ever since the dinner at Nora’s place, Heero’s mood was rundown, and his mood reflected in the cloudy sky. The time was towards the end of spring, and summer was approaching, and yet the weathermen were baffled as to how a storm had come upon the city. The temperatures dropped drastically, and cold winds blew over the streets. Now and then a shower of rain fell from the heavens, and the sight of a blue skies became rare all of a sudden.

People didn’t give it much thought. For a long while after the Eve Wars the weather had been capricious. The use of many nuclear weapons and large atmospheric interruptions caused by many weapons of war, had somehow damaged the Earth in ways still unknown. Phenomenons like snow in the middle of summer or a drought during the coldest winter, were becoming rather common in some parts of the world. The heavy rain falling over the city didn’t surprise the people walking down the streets, and they simply hurried to find shelter.

Running down the pavement, Duo cursed and reached a hand to wipe the wet bangs that clung to his face. “Dammit! What’s up with this rain?” He muttered, shifting his hold on the heavy paper bags he was holding. He ran faster, eager to get out of the rain. The heavy droplets falling from above were fat, hot and muddy. The winds of the summer storm blew hard, tousling his long bangs wildly.

Heero, who was walking by his side, hurried to catch up with him. He was also carrying two heavy paper bags, packed with groceries, his pink/blue/white uniforms getting soaked by the rain. He just finished work an hour ago, and Duo came to meet him so they could go shopping together. Nora was ill, as she had been all week, and Heero made sure to buy all of her necessities as well. He wasn’t overly depressed today, when Duo was with him it was hard to sink into depression, but he was worried sick over Nora. It seemed like the weather responded to his worry.

Sighing tiredly, Heero fixed his hold on the bags he was carrying and ran towards Duo. The two hurried towards Heero’s apartment building, entering the small lobby with their clothes soaking wet and their breathing heavy.

“Jesus!” Duo exclaimed, shaking his head from side to side. His wet hair sprayed water all over the place, like a dog drying himself. “Where the hell did THAT come from?!”

Heero gave out a small chuckle, thrusting his damp bangs out of his eyes. “Alaska. Or so they said on the news.” He replied smugly, making his way towards the stairwell.

“Smartass.” Duo muttered, and followed in his footsteps.

“I’m going to give Nora her groceries first.” Heero informed him as they climbed up to Nora’s floor. “I won’t be long.”

Duo smiled, slightly panting as he climbed two stairs at a time, trying to catch up with Heero. “Take your time. I don’t mind. Hey! Why won’t we make her something good to eat? It will make her feel better.”

Heero nodded with a smile. “That’ll be nice.” He said, walking into the corridor that led to Nora’s door.

“Cool! I think I can make a good... uh... TV dinner?” Duo mumbled, grinning sheepishly, “Heh, I don’t think she’d like my cooking.”

Heero rolled his eyes and turned to the door. “Baka.” He wiggled his hand from behind the shopping bags and raised it to the door. He knocked, but there was no answer. Frowning, he knocked again.

“Maybe she’s not home.” Duo suggested carefully. He was standing behind Heero, holding the paper bags, and peeking over his shoulder. It was not the first time that the two of them dropped by without notice at Nora’s place, and found themselves standing in front of the door, with no one there to answer. “Maybe she had more of those arrangements she always goes on.”

Heero sighed, worry stirring in his heart. He reached to knock again. “Duo no baka. You saw how ill she was the other day. Why would she go out in such condition?”

Duo shrugged. “I dunno. It was just a thought...”

Taking a nervous breath, Heero tried again. “Nora?” He called, leaning towards the door. “Are you home?”

Silence.

Sighing heavily, Heero put the bags down and pulled a key out of his black jeans’ pocket.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Duo asked as he watched his boyfriend key himself in.

“Yeah.” Heero grunted, opening the door with some difficulty. It creaked when it opened, and cool air poured out of the apartment.

“Is it always this cold?” Duo let out with a frown, taking a hesitant step forward. He clutched the bags tightly as he waited for Heero to lift his own load.

“The landlord didn’t agree to activate the central heating.” Heero muttered in annoyance, walking into the apartment. “He insists that a storm in the middle of spring is not a good enough reason.” He finished with a sigh, just as they entered the kitchen. He placed the bags on the kitchen table. Duo did the same.

“So, uh, no home cooked meal tonight, huh?” He joked, though he was a little disappointed. He had grown very fond of Nora’s cooking. He cherished every evening the two of them came over for dinner. It was far better than munching on junk food while they studied.

Heero chuckled, placing some dairies in the fridge. “Don’t worry, Duo. I’ll cook.”

Duo grinned and hurried to glomp his boyfriend from behind. “All right!”

* * *

When they reached Heero’s apartment a while later, Heero offered that Duo will enter the shower first, while he will make dinner. He didn’t take the time to change out of his wet pink/blue/white uniforms, and began preparing the meal. The apartment was silent aside for the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. The sun was setting behind the heavy clouds, bidding farewell to another gloomy afternoon. The apartment was quite chilly, the crisp air of the summer storm leaving invisible frostbites on everything it touched. The heater was turned on, standing on a miniature wooden table in the small space between the kitchen and the living room. Its strong orange light washed the small apartment, casting a ginger glow on the sofa/bed that stood in the middle of the living room.

Heero worked in silence, cutting a few vegetables and then throwing them into a small wok. He made a quick and simple dinner, frying some noodles, while he waited for Duo to finish his shower. It was not an unusual routine for the two of them. Since Duo lived in the university’s dormitories, Heero was not allowed to enter his quarters. So the two of them spent most of their time together either going out, or in Heero’s apartment. The tiny apartment had barely enough room for one, but they didn’t mind to share such closeness. There wasn’t much room to move about, merely a small kitchen, a bathroom and the sofa that took most of the space, but they managed. Most of the time they just lay together on the bed, studying, watching television or simply enjoying each other’s company.

There was nothing Heero enjoyed more than being curled beside Duo under a warm blanket, simply being held and caressed. They didn’t sleep together in the sexual sense of the word, not yet, but it didn’t bother them. Heero was grateful for being able to take things slow. Despite his deep love and attraction to Duo, he didn’t feel ready to sleep with him yet. He wanted to take his time, to familiarize himself with this new sense of intimacy. He had rushed things before, having a cheap one-night-stand, and he had gotten nothing but hurt in exchange for a few moments of pleasure. Before that, he was forced to have sex, brutally raped, and that had also left deep scars in his soul. He didn’t want to rush things with Duo. He wanted to take slow careful steps towards an intimate relationship. He was grateful that Duo and he shared that opinion. He suspected that his boyfriend was hesitant because of what happened back then, in that dark prison cell, and he was thankful for the fact that Duo was so considerate.

He finished just in time, when the sound of running water ceased to come from the shower. He took a couple of simple blue bowls out of the cupboard and loaded each one with some stir-fried noodles. His slim fingers swiftly swooped two pairs of chopsticks from the counter, and he made his way to the living room.

Duo walked out of the bathroom, immediately washed by the warm golden light of the heater. He was wearing the same pair of blue jeans he wore before, and one of Heero’s white T-shirts. His damp hair fell smoothly over his back, before he reached two hands up and braided it swiftly. He saw Heero was waiting for him on the bed, and he smiled lovingly at the sight of him, washed by the exotic gigner light. Despite his ridiculously colored uniforms, Heero managed to look beautiful. There was a certain glow to the boy, something sweet and honey-like, whenever he saw him under this light. It made his heart warm, and he couldn’t help but let his smile spread like melting chocolate.

“Smells delicious.” He commented softly, and sat beside Heero. Heero smiled back, handing him a bowl of noodles. The two enjoyed a nice silent meal together, sitting curled by one another in front of the heater.

When they were done eating, Duo got up, and without a word took the two empty bowls into the kitchen. Heero, who was still sitting on the sofa/bed, smiled affectionately at the sound of running water from the sink, where Duo began washing the dishes. His heart felt heavy, but each little thing Duo did was so endearing, that it made his burden so much easier to bear. He loved the connection they shared. The way they could communicate with no words at all. Duo knew when to keep silent; he knew when he should just be there, with no words, just his loving presence. Heero was so thankful for it. He enjoyed the comfort and affection Duo gave him. He loved the understanding they shared, the deep bond between them. It made even the gloomiest rainy afternoon feel like the warmest thing in the world.

Although he was still bothered by the ominous feelings that flooded him day and night. At day, he thought of Nora, about her frequently growing disappearing acts. At night, he was haunted by nightmarish visions of blood, pain and smoke. Events from his past and the story of Nora’s past mixed together in his head to form a terrifying reality. It was terrifying because it was so _real_. Each dream was so actual and intense that it left him shaking. When Duo didn’t sleep over, he would even cry. He was emotionally drained, tired of feeling so much worry and dread. He would brood often and every now and then Duo had to wake him from some numbing daydream. His mind got sidetracked easily, thinking about images that were possibly memories, possibly fiction. And to top it all was the fact that he could speak about none of that with Nora, because she was feeling ill as it is, and he didn’t want to upset her.

Sighing heavily, Heero slowly dragged himself off the sofa and made his way to the shower.

* * *

Standing in front of a small mirror, he undressed slowly, taking his time. His limbs felt heavy, he was so terribly tired. His mind was numb, his vision unfocused. He mindlessly pulled his shirt over his head, and threw it to the floor. He wriggled out of his jeans and let them drop to the floor. Sighing tiredly, he bent down to yank his socks off. He straightened up, glancing shortly at the mirror.

There was a little boy in the mirror, staring straight at him. A little boy with scruffy brown hair and a thick bloody bandage around his head. Hikari.

Heero gasped, his eyes wide. The boy’s sad blue eyes met with his. Blood was running down his temples, leaking from underneath the bandage.

Heero staggered back, nearly falling, until he collided with the wall. The cool porcelain wall stung his naked back, bringing him violently back to reality. He blinked, and the boy was gone. He was staring at his own pale and naked reflection.

He stood there, panting, staring at his trembling reflection. The image of the bloody bandage on the boy’s head was burnt deeply into his mind. He felt nauseous all of sudden, a dreadful feeling overtaking him.

With trembling hands, he reached to open the faucet. He stepped under the warm shower stream, and leaned his head heavily on the cool porcelain wall. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to take deep, long breaths, trying to calm down. Quick flashes assaulted his mind, an overflow of information trying to flood his head. He felt like there was too much trying to enter his mind, and there was not enough room. It hurt. He cringed painfully, squeezing his eyes tight as the images swirled in his head. A park. A home. An explosion. Darkness. The training. The war. The rape. Fear. Pain. Longing for something... something that was lost... something he could never remember...

“Please...” he pleaded, nearly crying, “Just leave me alone...”

His mother. His father. Dead. No! It was just a dream! It never happened to him! It was Nora’s family! It was Hikari’s life! Not his! Not his!

“Urgh!” Heero groaned, collapsing to his knees. The hot shower rained from above, warm water mixing with fresh tears. He punched the wall in frustration and pain. He was going crazy, driven mad by memories and fantasies that didn’t belong to him. They didn’t belong!

“Heero?” Duo’s hesitant voice came from behind the door. There was a soft knock. “Heero, are you okay?”

He suddenly realized that he must have been there for too long. The water was getting cold. Sighing, he took a moment to compose himself before muttering a faltering “Y-yes.”

There was a hesitant pause, and then, “Oh, uh, a-all right. I, uh... take your time. Sorry.” Duo mumbled, sounding confused. Did he notice that he was crying?

Duo retreated. It was silent again, only the sound of the rushing water there with him. Still on his knees, he reached a trembling hand up and closed the faucet. He then slowly rose on shaking feet, and stepped out of the shower. He dried himself slowly, sending nervous glances at the mirror as he slid the towel over his damp body. The reflection didn’t change; he was still staring at his frightened, confused, self.

He took a small step forward, and stood in front of the mirror. He let the towel drop to his feet, and merely stood there, staring at his naked reflection. He studied himself quietly, running his blue eyes slowly down his lean figure. With a faltering breath, he reached a hesitant hand up, carefully touching his chest. He slid the tip of his fingers over his muscled chest, trailing down to his abdomen, and then his waist. He touched himself lightly, tilting his head aside curiously as he looked at his reflection.

A small shiver ran threw him when his intense blue eyes meet with the eyes in the mirror. He swallowed, lightly caressing the area just above his groin. He wanted to make sure that it was himself he was touching. He needed this reassurance. Looking at the reflection of his hand, and feeling it trail over his skin, made him feel real somehow. If he could see and he could feel, then he must be real. His breath faltered for a minute as he toyed with the curly hairs above his groin. He looked deeply into his own eyes, and offered himself a little smile.

He couldn’t believe that he was looking at his nineteen year old self. That thought suddenly amazed him. He was prepared to take his own life by the age of ten, and yet here he was, staring at his older reflection. He couldn’t believe that he made it this far. He survived anything life threw at him, and now, he was happy. True, he was very upset lately, and at times he found it too hard to force himself to take another breath, but he was overly content with life. He had all he ever wished for, and he was prepared to take it all- the good with the bad. He of all people knew that life was not a bed of roses. Most of the time there were simply thorns.

Looking deeply into his own eyes, Heero reached a hand to touch the mirror. He caressed the face of his reflection, and smiled a little. From every bad thing, came something good. He hated to think about the awful things of his past, however he wished to take whatever little goodness came out of them. Perhaps there was a reason for each horror he had to go through. Perhaps... perhaps he _did_ have a home once, a family, and fate separated them so he could answer a greater call, fulfill a bigger destiny. He didn’t mind it so much now that he had Nora. He grew attached to her, he loved her deeply, and that was enough of a compensation for what he had lost.

As for the horrors of war... maybe what happened in that dark OZ prison cell only made him stronger. It made his love stronger. His love for Duo was greater than anything he ever felt. And now, he felt ready. Ready to give him his body, ready to show his love to him in the most intimate way. It meant a lot, and he was sure that Duo knew that. It wasn’t easy for him to do this, after being raped, but the love filling his heart was enough of a reason.

He felt ready, his body told him. His skin tingled in anticipation, warm shivers rippling through his body. He looked down at himself, slowly lowering his hand. He placed his palm over his heart, the wild heartbeat confirming his body’s statement. He was ready to do this, his heart confirmed. He _needed_ to do this. Tonight. He wanted it to be tonight. This body was his own, to do as he pleased. He will give it by choice, with all the love that he held in his heart. He was ready for this. He felt it in the very fibers of his being. If he will not share this intimacy tonight... he would collapse. He couldn’t do this by himself anymore. He needed someone to be with him. He needed someone to touch him, to hold him. He needed Duo to touch him, to understand him. To make love to him, to comfort him and take the pain away. He needed to show his love to Duo, he wanted to make him _feel_ it. He wanted both of them to feel it. Tonight. It was going to be tonight.

With a shy little smile, Heero nodded at his own reflection. He bent down to pick his towel off the floor, and wrapped it around his waist. No more nightmares after tonight. No more regrets, he decided, and carefully stepped out of the bathroom.

* * *

He walked out of the shower with only a white towel around his slim waist. The orange light of the heater slowly coated him like a golden blanket as he walked back into the living room. His damp hair was dripping water, the clear droplets glittering as they slid down his muscled chest.

Duo was sitting on the sofa/bed, waiting for him. The bed was freshly made, and the braided young man was sitting in the middle of the double bed, fluffing a pillow. Heero smiled warmly at the sight, and made his way to the bed. With the towel hanging loosely around his slender waist, he crawled onto the bed, and kneeled behind Duo. He caught his braided boyfriend by surprise when he slowly began kissing his neck, earning a small gasp from the boy.

Heero smiled to himself and leaned forward, letting his hands wander up Duo’s arms, to his shoulders, and down to his chest. He pressed himself to Duo’s back, nibbling his neck playfully, as his fingers sneaked under the boy’s shirt. Duo moaned and Heero shifted closer, the mattress yielding under his movements.

“H-Heero...” Duo mumbled, out of breath. “What’s gotten into you?” Breathless, he turned around to face the Japanese boy. His gaze softened at the beautiful sight before him. He took a moment to simply appreciate the sight of the beauty kneeling before him. The way the warm orange light painted Heero’s muscled chest, creating an exotic vision of the boy. He was wearing nothing but a loose towel, which was hanging low around his slim waist. Duo’s eyes lingered onto the inviting sight, before he turned to look up at Heero’s eyes.

Heero smiled shyly, his cheeks slightly blushing. He reached a slim hand down, and slowly removed the towel, sliding it over his skin until it hid nothing. He swallowed, taking a nervous breath, before he turned to look at Duo again. His cheeks blushed a bright red, and his entire body burnt with heat. The feeling of complete exposure in front of the one he loved sent pleasant tingles down his skin. Just being looked at was arousing him.

Stunned, Duo simply stared. His wide eyes traveled up and down Heero’s naked figure, until he met his eyes. A small smile graced his lips, his eyes moist with tears for he was so overwhelmed with love. Still, he hesitated to move. Heero saw that, noticed the flash of that dark cell reflecting in Duo’s eyes, but he didn’t let it stop him. Tonight he will prove, to both Duo and himself, that their love can win over those memories. The past will be forgotten after tonight, he promised himself.

He reached forward, and took Duo’s hand in his. He guided the hesitant palm to his body, letting it rest on his thigh.

“Don’t think about it.” He whispered, looking deeply into Duo’s eyes. He smiled kindly, shifting Duo’s hand so it slid down his inner thigh. “I’m not.”

Duo swallowed, looking nervously at his hand, afraid to hurt Heero somehow, despite the fact that he was not responsible for his hand’s current location. He looked up at Heero just in time to see the boy lean closer, and then becoming a blur as he sealed his lips with a kiss. The feeling of Heero’s warm lips against his mouth slowly melted his fear away. He kissed back, tasting those soft lips and then parting them gently with his tongue. He kissed Heero long and deep, rising higher on his knees as he wrapped his arms around the boy. Heero’s skin was hot as fire when he touched him. He rubbed his palm up and down Heero’s back, toying ruthlessly with Heero’s tongue until the boy moaned helplessly into his mouth. He drank every moan, as if they were wine, his body getting eager to play the game.

When they parted, they were both panting. Duo’s hair was tousled wildly, his bangs moving up and down as he breathed. Heero was also flushed and breathless. He leaned closer to Duo, breathing harshly into his ear as he whispered- “Make love to me, Duo. I love you, I trust you, I...” His hand reached down between their bodies, taking hold of Duo’s hand. He guided his hand to his hardening arousal.

“...I want you...” He whispered in a low, sexy voice, smirking at his own boldness.

Duo smiled back and then chuckled. He gave Heero a quick kiss, and then drew back so he could look into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

Heero nodded, his eyes shining with warmth and love. “More than anything. I want to make love with you.”

It was all the reassurance Duo needed.

* * *

That night, they made love like nothing else mattered. ‘Heaven’ would have been an understatement to describe the feelings that flooded Heero that night. He never knew that sex could be so gentle, so caring and considerate. He could feel the love in every movement, every touch, and every caress. He was worshiped with kisses and sweet words, praised by gentle hands and delicate lips. The pleasure coursing through him was unimaginable. Never in his life did he feel such sensations, such deep passion and love.

Duo let him set their pace, control their positions and everything else. Settling on his knees, he waited for Heero to act. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo’s neck, smiled shyly and positioned himself above Duo’s erect arousal. He pressed his forehead to Duo’s, looking him deep in the eye. Slowly, carefully, he lowered his hips and took Duo into him, inch by inch. Pleasant shivers crawled under his skin as he was slowly filled by Duo’s warm, lubed, erection. He closed his eyes in pleasure, his breath quickening as he took Duo deeper and deeper into him. Duo leaned his head back, groaning loudly. His eyes were closed tight, his lips pressed into a thin line. He felt himself sheathed deeply inside Heero, his cock pulsing inside the tight heat. Heero didn’t move, simply savoring the elevating feeling of having Duo inside him.

“God... Heero... you feel so good...” His lover ground out, his body shaking with pleasure.

Heero chuckled, leaning closer to Duo’s face. His laughter tousled Duo’s long bangs, tickling his face. He kissed his forehead gently, pressing his warm lips against the hot skin. He kept his hips still, relishing in the feeling of having Duo inside him. He loved it, being filled, being whole at last. He raised his hips up slowly, enjoying the feeling of Duo’s erection rubbing against his inner walls. Duo moaned loudly, squeezing the tears out of his closed eyes. Heero smiled and then quickly slumped his hips down, burying Duo inside him swiftly. This time, his prostate was hit and a throaty moan tore out of his lips.

“It... doesn’t... hurt... does it?” Duo managed to ground between clenched teethe, struggling to refrain himself from slamming blindly into Heero.

The Japanese boy smiled kindly and shook his head. “No.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss Duo. “I enjoy it.”

Duo opened his eyes to look at his lover, smiling. “I never enjoyed prostate stimulation.” He admitted.

Heero shrugged casually and bent to nibble Duo’s lower lip. “Then it’s a good thing that I do.” He said with a smirk, and then raised his hips again. He pushed down quickly, and then repeated the motion. All the while his eyes were focused on Duo’s face, drinking the sight of the pleasure dancing across his lover’s beautiful features.

Using Duo’s shoulders as leverage, he began creating a rhythm, riding Duo slowly at first and then picking up the pace. They had no more breath left for talking; they were both busy panting and moaning loudly. Heero leaned back, arching his back, while his fingers gripped Duo’s shoulders tightly. His head was tilted back, his messy bangs hanging low, swinging from side to side. The usual mop of hair that obscured his features was thrown back, so that every inch of his features could be seen washed in pleasure. He called out and jumped each time his prostate was hit, his wild bangs bouncing up and down with him.

This union was the most beautiful thing he ever felt. It was unconceivable that he held Duo inside him at the moment. They were one being, one soul, at long last. His eyes flooded with tears at the realization. Pure love was coursing through his veins, overwhelming him and bringing him to tears. He’d been shedding so many of those lately, compensating for all the years he had been holding them back. There was no reason to hold back anymore, he felt free to act by his emotions. He was finally following his own advice. Each time he shed a tear, his heart felt lighter. There was more room for love in his heart as he shed the sadness away.

He could feel Duo lean forward and attach his lips to his right nipple. He coated him with hot saliva and began to suck. Heero’s arousal twitched. He cried out in pleasure, his knuckles turning white as he gripped Duo harder. He was calling out so many incoherent things, moaning and groaning as he moved his hips up and down in a mind-blowing rhythm. He wanted to feel more and more of Duo, every inch, deeper and deeper inside of him. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and he launched himself at Duo, grabbing the boy’s head with two hands and dove down to devour him with a brutal, passionate kiss. He poured all of his lust, love, and passion into this one kiss, taking Duo’s breath away when he gasped. He continued to ride Duo without using his hands for leverage, concentrating on driving his lover insane with one single kiss.

Duo growled and returned the playful assault, kissing back furiously. He grabbed Heero’s hips to keep him from falling, meeting him thrust for thrust. He hugged the boy tightly, devouring his mouth as they both battled for dominance. When his tongue finally won over Heero’s, he reached a shaking hand to stroke his lover’s neglected arousal. The boy screamed loudly when he was touched, the pleasure overloading his senses. After a few quick strokes Heero came with a shuddering scream, his body convulsing. He came all over Duo’s stomach, the movement of his hips slowing down as he rode on the waves of his orgasm. Duo drove into him a few more times before coming violently. His hand was still pumping Heero, squeezing him tight. Heero felt hot fluid burst inside of him, coating his inside. He smiled at the feeling, and slumped tiredly onto Duo.

The two collapsed on the bed, panting, sweating, and basking in afterglow.

They lay together in silence, simply breathing. Heero was curled against Duo, lying by his side. They entwined their limbs, as Heero laid his head on Duo’s sweaty chest. His braided lover was still breathing hard, and his chest rose up and down quickly. Heero smiled at the feeling, also happy to hear the wild rhythm of Duo’s heart. He wrapped his arms around Duo, hugging him tight. Duo’s hand slowly traveled up and down his body, caressing him with soft butterfly touches.

“I love you.” Heero whispered, reaching down for Duo’s braid. It was still wet from the shower he’d taken but two hours ago. He began toying to the tip of Duo’s braid, curling the wet hairs around his finger and then releasing them.

Duo’s hold on him tightened. He pushed him closer to his body, and kissed the top of his head. “I love you too, Hee-chan. More than anything.” He whispered back, caressing Heero’s smooth back. “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”

Heero smiled sheepishly, his cheeks blushed. “You’re welcome.” He mumbled into Duo’s chest, shrugging lightly. He curled deeper into Duo, nestling himself against the warm body. He sighed pleasantly, enjoying the warmth surrounding him, and drifted into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

He was home again, standing in the middle of a green park. Shiny silver buildings peeked from behind the trees, the hint of a window and some flowerpots visible behind lush branches. He turned to look around, examining his surrounding. He smiled at the familiar sight, a feeling of peace taking over him. The park was silent, only the soft twittering of birds heard from a distance. Behind him, down the green hill, spread the whole colony in all its glory. The silver streets glinted under the colony light, colorful cars cruising down the roads.

He smiled, and turned back to face the park. The air was warm and sweet. He inhaled deeply and began to slowly walk down the gravel trails, enjoying himself beyond belief. He didn’t recall feeling such ease in a long, long, while. The calm atmosphere and the delightful green sights bestowed a pleasant feeling over him. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a smile spreading on his features as he let himself enjoy the warm colony light.

He stood still for a few moments, simply absorbing the pleasant silence. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Nora standing not so far away, on a nearby hill. She was wearing her beautiful blue dress, her long brown hair cascading smoothly down her back, tousled by the wind. It seemed like she was looking for someone, searching desperately. Heero smiled warmly. She was looking for him.

He took a step forward, simply wishing to go to her, to end her search so she will not be so sad. The minute he took another step, someone stopped him. He was grabbed forcefully from behind, two pairs of strong hands gripping him by his upper arms. His eyes widened in panic.

“No!” He called, frightened. He reached a hand forward, in Nora’s direction, trying desperately to reach her. “Nora!”

The hands restraining him tightened in a painful grip, nearly ripping his flesh. An evil laughter rang in his ear, followed by another.

“C’mon, sweet cakes, time to go back.”

“Yeah, babe, we missed ya!”

He knew those voices and he shook his head wildly in denial. “No! No! Please!”

They began dragging him away from there, and he knew, without even looking back, that they were dragging him into that dark cell again. He fought them with all his might, struggling to get away. To get back to Nora. She was waiting for him. She’s been waiting for so long, he had to go to her!

But he couldn’t get away from them. He was too tired to fight, too exhausted to struggle. It was those damn tests, they made him weak. He couldn’t even move his legs anymore. He hung limply in their hold, his feet dragging on the gravel road as they carried him away. His head hung low in defeat, his bangs obscuring his eyes as he mumbled: “Please... no more tests... please...”

Nora was still on that hill, looking left and right, searching. She was getting further and further away. He gave one last attempt at escape, but it did him no good. They only laughed at him, calling him names.

“Hurry up!” Lady Une barked at them, crossing her arms over her chest. “Get him out of the hangar!”

He jerked his head up to look at her, a desperate plea in his eyes. “Please! No! They raped me! Let me go! Please! They’ll do it again! Can’t you see?! Please! Please...”

His words only made her angry. She slapped him hard and then spat in his face. “Private Barton! Get the prisoner back to his cell!”

“Trowa- no!” He screamed, his voice anxious as he noted that the green hill was so terribly far away. He could barely see Nora anymore.

“We’ll continue the tests tomorrow. Tell the scientists to prepare the Mercurious.”

“No! Please no... Nora- help me! Help me!! Nora!!!!”

The iron hands gave him a finally yank and threw him into the cell.

It was dark. He couldn’t see and he couldn’t hear. He wasn’t sure if he had a body anymore, until his legs were thrown up in the air and forced painfully open. He closed his eyes tight and screamed:

“MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Heero awoke with a jerk. Someone was shaking him, holding him by his upper arms. For a moment, he panicked. He was naked and someone was by his side, also naked. Tears of helplessness filled his eyes. He lifted his arms to fight off the unknown attacker, but the rapist wouldn’t let go!

“No! No! Let me go! Don’t touch me! Let me go!!!” He screamed, trashing wildly on the bed. He will not give in so easily! As long as he had the strength to fight- he will not give in! He kicked and he punched, doing his best to get away from the man by his side. The man, however, refused to let go. He was shaking him forcefully, as if trying to wake him.

“Heero! Heero! Look at me! Heero!” Duo’s anxious voice slowly sipped into his consciousness.

Heero gasped, his eyes darting up to meet the worried purple orbs above him. He stilled, his body slumping heavily into the mattress. His features were pale with confusion and shock. He shifted his gaze from side to side, trying to recall where he was. Tears began to flood his eyes as realization slowly returned. He was home. He was with Duo. He was safe with Duo. He was with Duo...

Propped on one elbow so he could look down at the boy beneath him, Duo watched as Heero slowly realized where he was. He lay silently by his side, the blanket sliding down to his naked waist. He reached a hand down to caress Heero’s cheek, wiping away the stream of silvery tears. He took a faltering breath, trying to remain calm despite the vulnerable and frightened sight of his lover. He couldn’t bear to see Heero like this. His heart ached because he knew that this was his entire fault. He never should have let Heero sleep with him. It was still too early. He knew it, and still he played along. He should never have done that.

Sighing sadly, Duo looked down at his lover, gently tousling his bangs. “Heero, look at me.” He whispered softly. He held himself from flinching when a pair of frightened blue eyes turned to him. He swallowed, and reached to pet Heero’s tender cheek.

“Do you regret what we just did?” He asked quietly, his tone careful.

It took Heero a few long moments, at which he merely stared dumbly at Duo, before he slowly shook his head.

Duo was unconvinced. Leaning closer to Heero, he looked him straight in the eyes and whispered harshly. “Did I hurt you in any way?”

“No... no... I wanted it... I did...” Heero mumbled in a small voice, still suffocated with tears. He shook his head against the pillow, looking up at Duo with shimmering eyes. “I’m the one who... who started it... I wanted it... I did...”

“Heero, are you sure?” Duo asked, nearly crying. The boy seemed so confused that he found it difficult to be assured. “God, Hee-chan, the last thing I EVER want is to hurt you.”

“I know... I know...” Heero murmured, turning his head aside. He sighed deeply, staring ahead at nothing. “I... I don’t think it had anything to do with the rape...”

Duo frowned, confused. He lay down again and scooped Heero into his arms. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s slim body, pressing him closer to his chest. Heero laid his head under his shoulder, close to his chest, and Duo bent down to kiss the top of his head. “Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

Confused, Heero didn’t know what to answer. He stared unfocusedly at the white sheets, trying to find the words to explain it to Duo.

“It’s just that... there’s... there’s so much stuff in my head, Duo... so much... in my head, I... I can’t... can’t stop thinking about it... remembering...” He sighed, closing his eyes sadly. “I don’t know...”

Fresh tears lingered onto his long eyelashes, his lips trembling in an attempt to stop the sobs from coming. He couldn’t help it. He felt so small and helpless at the moment that he couldn’t restrain his tears. He reached a shaking hand to hug Duo tightly. He buried himself in Duo’s chest, pressing closer to him until he felt that they were one again. He didn’t even have to ask, Duo knew that all he wanted was to be held. Warm arms held him tightly, soft fingers playing with his hair. They lay together, limbs entwined, letting time tick by slowly. Heero couldn’t be more grateful for the love and warmth that surrounded him at the moment.

* * *

“I brought you some soup.” Heero mumbled solemnly as he placed a small tray on Nora’s nightstand. He then turned to carefully sit down at the edge of her bed, sighing deeply before facing her. The woman was lying slumped against a small mountain of pillows, looking terribly pale and exhausted. There were black bags under her eyes and her lips were parched. Her long brown hair lay spread over the pillow, a few messy hairs falling over her face. Heero reached a gentle hand to wipe them away, his eyes shining sadly.

“Please eat.” he said softly, his blue eyes pleading with her, “You haven’t eaten in days.”

“I’m not hungry, Heero.” she muttered, shaking her head tiredly, “I’m too nauseous to eat...”

Heero sighed. “You have to eat something, Nora.” He insisted, turning to take the small bowl of soup. He placed it in his lap and dipped the spoon in. He carefully served it to Nora’s lips. His eyes begged her to open her mouth. With a long sigh, Nora sipped the soup and then slumped back into her pillow. Her blue eyes gazed blindly ahead as he fed her patiently, not saying anything even when she spilled some soup over her nightgown. He simply wiped the fluid off her chin with his sleeve and fed her some more. The room was silent as he served the spoon to her lips, feeding her at least half a bowl.

“Please, Heero. No more.” Nora whispered hoarsely, gesturing with her hand to emphasize her words. “I can’t eat anymore.”

Heero nodded in understanding and placed the bowl back on the nightstand. He continued to sit on the bed, his hands in his lap and his gaze at the floor. A heavy silence fell over the small bedroom, so heavy that it was hard to bear. Nora lay quietly on the bed, her gaze thoughtful. She was listening carefully to the sound of Heero’s breathing, trying to detect if anything was wrong. He was so silent, he didn’t even more. There were no rustling sheets to indicate any movement. The slow rhythm of his breath and the way he sat heavily on the matters brought her to one conclusion. Something was bothering him. He was very upset, and frankly, she couldn’t blame him.

“Heero, what’s wrong?” She asked, trying to make her tone lighter, softer. She could hear him sigh heavily, and by the small shifting of the mattress she figured that he must have shrugged or something.

“It’s nothing, Nora. I... it’s nothing.”

That was not the answer she wanted to hear. She forced herself up, dragging herself over the pillows so she could more or less sit. She reached forward, searching for his hand. Since she didn’t find it, she settled for placing her palm on his forearm. “Heero, if something is bothering you, I’d like to hear about it.”

Still he kept silent.

Nora sighed, shaking her head. “If you are worried about me, then don’t be. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“That’s not it...” He mumbled, and then stopped himself. “I mean, I _am_ worried about you, but... but that’s not why I’m...” He slowly trailed off, burying his face in his hands. “Forget it.”

Nora heaved a long, irritated, sigh. “Heero, what’s been bothering you?” She repeated, her tone harsher than before. He was appealing to her stubborn side now, and he should know well by now that it should not be messed with.

Heero sighed as well, his eyes fixed at the floor as he placed both hands over his lap. His gaze was numb as his voice when he finally mumbled: “I... I’ve been wanting to... to speak to you, about... about something.”

“What about?” She inquired, reaching up to tousle his hair briefly, offering a small comfort.

Heero shifted uncomfortably on the bed, struggling to find the right words. “I... I... I’ve been having these strange dreams lately, and...” He paused, afraid to continue.

“What dreams?” she asked worriedly, “Did your nightmares return?”

Heero shook his head, his gaze still at the floor. “No. Not exactly.” He whispered, and then sighed, running a hand through his bangs as he pushed them backwards. “They are very disturbing, but... they’re not the same as before.”

“What do you mean?” Nora asked, confused.

Taking a deep, faltering breath, Heero turned to face her. His expression was dreadfully serious as he spoke. “Lately I’ve been... I’ve been dreaming about your family, Nora. I’ve been dreaming about... about Hikari.”

Nora visibly stilled at his words, frozen in her spot. She swallowed hard, and cast her gaze down. “I see.” She mumbled, reaching a hand to wipe a few chunks of long hair out of her eyes.

Heero berated himself for bringing up the subject. She was feeling bad as it is, why make it worse?

“I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled, turning away. “You should get some sleep.” He added solemnly and prepared to rise off the bed.

“No.” Nora stopped him, reaching for his hand. She held it tight, raising her head up to ‘look’ at him with a serious and sharp gaze. Her blue eyes were so intense; it was hard to believe that she was blind. Heero swallowed and slowly sat down.

“I do want to hear about it.” She said earnestly, squeezing his hand tighter. “Never _dare_ to think that I don’t want to hear what you have to say, Heero.” She spoke harshly, trying to convince him with all her willpower. Her eyes somehow found his, and her blind gaze paralyzed him.

“What do you dream about, Heero?” she asked slowly, as if speaking to a child, “Tell me.”

“I don’t know...” Heero mumbled, shaking his head slowly. He sat down by her side, leaning against the pillows. He didn’t turn to face her, though, when he finally spoke. His gaze was fixed on his fidgeting hands, his slim fingers playing with the sheets.

“I could never bring myself to remember my past. I lost every recollection of what I experienced before my training.” He began quietly, struggling to say every word. “As a child, I simply accepted the fact that I had nowhere to go, no place to return to. I had nothing, and yet I always had the feeling that there _was_ something out there. I spent hours looking out various windows, as if the answer would somehow come to me.”

“And now it did?” Nora asked softly, placing a hand over his.

Heero nodded slowly. “I’m... I’m almost sure that I remember.” He confessed quietly, an uncomfortable feeling taking over him. “I think that my dreams are trying to tell me something.”

There was a moment of silence as Nora slowly absorbed his words. She then turned to face him. “What do you dream about?”

He sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. His fingers were still fidgeting as he spoke. “I dream about a park, mostly. A big green park, in some colony. It’s a familiar place and I feel happy when I see it.”

“And you’ve never dreamed about that park before?”

He paused to think for a moment, until he finally mumbled, “I... I think I did. But not as frequently as I do now.”

“What else?” She asked, her fingers tightening around his palm.

“I dream about fire, and fear and smoke. I see people in my dreams, people which I’m sure I know, which I love, but then when I wake up it makes no sense.”

Nora nodded, her expression grave for some reason. “Do you suppose it’s because of what I told you about Hikari?”

Heero shrugged helplessly and then shook his head. “No.” he said, his heart beating faster, “It’s not that, because... because in my dream I _know_ that I am Hikari.”

Nora smiled sadly. “It’s a very nice idea, Heero.” she whispered, bowing her head sadly, “And I would have loved it if it was true.” Inhaling deeply, she turned to face him. Her voice faltered with tears as she spoke. “But it can’t be. I buried both my husband and my son. I ran my own hands over their burnt bodies. I covered their graves with dirt and ran my fingers over their tombstone. They were... they’re dead, Heero. They died a long time ago.”

Dejected and embarrassed, Heero sighed. He forced himself to chuckle, though his eyes glinted with tears. “It’s a silly thought, I admit.” He mumbled, his voice small and sheepish, “Absurd, even.” he continued, feeling stupid for even considering the idea. He turned to face her, his blue eyes flooded with tears. Nevertheless, he smiled. “Though I wish badly that it was true.”

Nora smiled back. “So do I, Heero.” She whispered lovingly, tapping on his hand. “You are a very special person to me. I love you, and I want you to know that.” she said, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it tight. “I know that you are not very fond of this ‘mushy’ talk, but... well, I think that even you need to hear it from time to time.”

Heero chuckled/sobbed, and then sniffled. Nora leaned forward and gathered him into a tight hug. She leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling his warm arms wrap around her. She guided his head to rest on her shoulder as well, her fingers stroking the soft brown strings like a mother soothing a child after a nightmare. Her blind blue eyes were also flooded with tears, and she buried her face in his neck, trying to hold back to sobs.

“I love you dearly, Heero. I want you to always remember that. Always.” She whispered into his neck, holding him tighter. She could feel his arms squeeze back.

“I... I love you too, Nora.” He whispered, his voice faltering and heavy with tears.

They remained locked in their embrace for a while longer, until both of them calmed. Heero sniffled once, and then got up, finally breaking off the embrace. His cheeks were damp with tears, but he smiled down at her nonetheless. She was also smiling shyly, a few tears still sliding down her pale cheeks. She looked terribly tired, he decided. With a heavy heart, he rose off the bed.

“You should get some sleep.” He said hoarsely, his throat dry from crying. He raised the blanket so she could lie down. Nora nodded silently and he helped her lie down again. He pulled the blanket up to her neck, tucking her well under the soft quilt. Nora chuckled bitterly.

“It seems that the tables have turned.” She commented, pulling one arm out of the blanket as she sunk her head deeper into the pillow. “I remember doing the same for you not so long ago.”

Heero smiled sadly and reached for her hand, which rested on top of the blanket. “It was over a year ago.” He informed her, his voice still heavy with emotions.

“Really?” she marveled, though her tone was sad, “So little time... it’s just not enough...”

“Don’t speak like that, Nora. It’s not like you.” He said, bending down so he could caress her cheek. He kissed her forehead lightly, his eyes shining. “Try to get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.” He whispered gently, slowly rising up. “I’m going to stay the night, so if you need anything, just call for me.”

He picked up the tray from the nightstand and prepared to leave.

“Heero,” Nora called after him, and he slowly turned around to face her.

“Yes?”

She smiled, a small knowing smile, and her blue eyes shone with some strange gleam. It was a sad glint, and yet it also seemed happy. Heero swallowed and took a step back towards the bed. “What is it, Nora?”

Her smiled widened, and she shook her head. “Nothing, Heero. Goodnight.”

Confused, Heero nodded and mumbled a small “Goodnight” in return. He left the room and closed the door, leaving it half open. He spent the rest of the evening cleaning the kitchen and tending the rest of the apartment. He made a small trip up to his own place to shower and change. He called Duo to wish him goodnight and then returned to Nora’s apartment. After checking up on her, he went to the bookshelf in the living room and took the old photograph out of the book. He looked at it for hours, until he fell asleep on the sofa, holding the old family photo.

When he came to wake Nora in the morning, she didn’t wake up.

* * *

The doors to the Emergency Room burst violently open, swinging wildly from side to side. Duo rushed into the ER, a haunted expression on his pale features. His hair was disheveled from running; long bangs tousled as he rushed down the hallway. His wide violet eyes scanned the waiting room, shifting hastily from one corner to another.

He spotted Heero sitting on a chair in the corner of the waiting room, huddled into himself. He was sitting with his heels resting on the chair, his knees drawn up to his chest. He was hugging his legs, his forehead pressed to his kneecaps, making him look like a small and miserable human ball. An ominous and melancholic cloud was hovering over the young man, raining invisible drops of anguish on his slumped form. Duo's heart ached at the sight, bleeding slowly into his ribcage.

He slowed his approach and took careful steps towards his lover. He stood before him, his features full of compassion as he looked down at the solemn young man. Heero didn't look up from where he was staring at the floor. His head was bowed, his numb blue eyes gazing dully at Duo's shoes.

“Heero.” Duo called softly, trying to gain his attention. Heero didn't look up, so with a long sigh, Duo took a seat next to him. The two sat silently together, both looking at thin air. The silence stretched between them like a chasm. There were so many things Duo wanted to say, to ask, to know, but the words didn't come. Heero's silence rendered his own mouth speechless. All he could do was sit there and stare at the floor. He took a long moment to study his dark brown boots, and reached a half-hearted conclusion that they were butt-ugly. He shifted his eyes to look at Heero's white sneakers, and frowned. The two of them needed to do some serious shopping.

Sighing, he shook his head a little and closed his eyes. This was not the time to let his mind drift. He had to make Heero speak. There was a reason he rushed out of class in the middle of an important lecture. His Biology Professor will never forgive him for it, but Heero came first. When he heard his lover's shaking voice on the phone, his heart broke. Between sniffling, Heero asked him if he could come to the local hospital. He actually _asked_ , as if the answer wasn't obvious.

Duo sighed and tilted his head back, looking up at the blinding florescent lights on the ceiling. He gazed dully at the ceiling, simply letting time tick by.

“She's dying.” Heero finally whispered. His voice was numb, like he was commenting about something as trivial as the weather. Duo knew that he was in shock. He knew his lover too well. If the emotional blow was too much to deal with, he would just cut the cord connecting his heart to his body. He would shut the flood of emotion flowing through his veins and live on facts only. Cold logic would take over, slowly turning pain into plain and numb acceptance.

He wasn't going to let Heero do that. If he was in pain, he had to deal with it. No more running away. Heero made so much progress from his old, emotionally-cut-off self, and Duo wasn't going to sit back and watch him close his heart again.

“What did the doctors say?” He asked, forcing Heero to deal with it, to speak about it.

Heero sighed heavily, hugging his knees tighter. “It's cancer. Leukemia.”

Duo winced. Leukemia. One of the few types of cancer the After Colony science was unable to cure. The dreaded Blood-Cancer was still an incurable disease that caused many casualties and pain.

Realization slowly dawned on him. His eyes widened in horror. “So all those times when she wasn't home...”

“Chemotherapy.” Heero muttered, “She's been doing it for the past five months.” His tone was cold, calculated. Speaking plain facts with no emotional attachment. Even though Duo knew that Heero was deeply hurt from being lied to, from being left out of the picture. He felt betrayed, tormenting himself with many painful questions. Why didn't Nora tell him? Wasn't he important enough? Didn't he matter?

Duo knew that Heero was answering all of his questions wrongly. He had to make him snap out of it, before the next blow will hit. And considering the two of them were sitting by the Intensive Care Unit, the next blow was soon to come.

“Shit.” He cursed, looking away with a wince. The situation was grimmer than he had initially thought.

“She refused to receive treatment up until now.” Heero mumbled into his knees, his head still bowed. “She wanted to die, Duo. She just... she wanted to die.”

Heero's voice faltered, breaking with tears. Slowly but surely, his emotionless act dissolved into nothing. He couldn't shut out the tears. They came whether he wanted them or not. Duo could see him struggle to cut-off the emotional tidal wave, but failing miserably. His heart clenched painfully at the sight. Heero was trying so hard to be strong, but his heart wouldn't let him anymore. In a way, giving in to his emotions only made Heero look stronger. He wasn't afraid to cry anymore.

“I... I think about it, and it hurts. It hurts so much, because I... I know what it's like... seeking death in every opportunity. Feeling too obliged to living so you can't take your own life, but yet... jumping at the opportunity to die.”

He turned to look up at Duo, his expression tormented. His blue eyes were large and vulnerable, a hot stream of tears leaking down his cheeks.

“She was in so much pain; all this time... there was so much pain in her heart, Duo... I could never ease it. No matter what I did.”

“Heero, that's not true. I think you are the reason she chose to start chemotherapy. She wanted to live for you.”

Heero sniffled, a flicker of doubt crossing his already confused features. “Then why didn't she tell me about it? I could have... I could have been there for her...”

“I don't know the answer to that, Heero. Only Nora does.”

Heero sighed, looking away. “I know...”

“Mr. Yuy?” A timid voice called softly, as a young doctor came to stand in front of the two.

Heero looked up and hurried to stand on his feet. He wiped his tears away hastily, and turned to face the doctor. Duo got up as well and stood next to him. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Both young men turned anxious eyes at the doctor.

The young physician looked down at his notepad, leafing briefly through his notes. “We have your blood test results.” He said, his soft brown eyes apologetic when he looked up at Heero.

Duo frowned in confusion. He turned to Heero with a questioning look. “What blood test?”

Heero sighed, casting his gaze down. “Nora needs a bone marrow transplant. I asked them to check if I'm suitable for a donation.” He looked up at the doctor again, his gaze piercing. “We're incompatible, aren't we?”

The doctor's face covered with compassion. “I'm sorry, Mr. Yuy, but while your blood type does match your mother's, your bone marrow doesn't.”

Heero's body stilled. He forze like a statue, his breath caught in his throat. Duo felt his lover tense, and tightened his hold around his shoulder. He turned to the doctor with an apologetic smile.

“There must be some mistake,” he said slowly, “She is not his mother.”

The doctor frowned, and looked down at his notes. “Are you sure?” he asked, leafing through his paperwork, “Because according to our tests results...” he turned another page, scanning it briefly, “...the DNA is a match.” Closing, his notepad, he looked up at the two, his gaze confused. “Did I check the wrong patient?”

Duo whirled his head around to look at Heero. The young man was still frozen like stone. His expression was a frozen mask of shock and confusion. His eyes were unfocused, staring somewhere beyond the doctor.

“No, there's no mistake.” Duo let out with a sigh, turning back to the confused physician. “She is his mother.”

While he still seemed confused, the doctor nodded once and then left, mumbling a small “I'm sorry.”

Duo didn't tear his eyes off Heero, studying his shocked features with great concern.

“Heero, are you all right?” He asked carefully, placing a gentle hand over his lover's limp palm. Heero’s arms were dangling lifelessly at his side, his fists clenched and trembling ever so slightly. He was gazing far ahead, a numb and distant look in his eyes. His lips slowly moved as he mumbled, “I... I need to sit down.”

“Sure.” Duo complied, guiding Heero gently towards the small plastic chair. Heero’s movements were stiff and slow. His dazed blue eyes were unfocused even when he moved to sit down. He didn’t look where he was going, trusting Duo’s hands to guide him safely. When he was finally seated, his body making contact with the cold plastic chair, he flinched, blinking. A few tears that were flooding his eyes were swept away by his long eyelashes. He took a trembling breath, his back shaking, and buried his face in his hands.

Duo watched as his lover bent forward, curling into himself, hiding his face in his hands. He listened as Heero drew long deep breaths, trying to calm down. He rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the small trembles that trailed up and down Heero’s back. He leaned his head carefully atop of Heero’s, raising another hand to caress the soft brown hair. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and took a moment to just drown in Heero’s scent.

“Shush...” he whispered softy, running his hand gently through Heero’s fine hair, “Shhh...”

“She... she knew...” Heero mumbled into his hands, his voice breaking with tremors. “She lied to me...”

“Heero, please...” Duo begged, “don’t torment yourself over this. It’s not--”

“She’s my mother, Duo.” Heero cut in, his voice harder than before, his gaze intense.

Confused, Duo pulled back and looked at Heero, waiting for him to speak. He watched as Heero slowly put his arms down, and raised his head. He turned to face Duo, his blue eyes burning fiercely despite the tears that slid down his cheeks. Heero closed his eyes slowly, and when he opened them again they were suddenly full of wonder. The sudden change was shocking to watch, causing Duo to blink as well. He looked at Heero, his gaze astonished, as the Japanese boy’s lips lifted slowly in a smile. His blue eyes sparkled when he looked at Duo and said, “I have a mother.”

Duo didn’t know how to respond, his lover was obviously in a state of shock, so the only response he could think of was to smile back. It faltered.

* * *

Heero walked into Nora’s hospital room, slowly closing the door behind him. He took a moment to just breathe, before he turned around to face the room. The sight revealed to him was not a pleasant one at all. Nora was lying slumped on the bed, looking paler than the sheets themselves. The thin blue sheets cascaded over her body in gentle folds, lingering to her form like a second skin. They traced her figure, the gentle curves of her body, which made her look so small and fragile. She looked like a corpse, lying under the pale blue sheets.

Heero swallowed and forced his numb feet to step forward. He made his way slowly to the bed, his breath catching in his throat when he finally reached her bedside. Looking down at her, his eyes filled with tears once more.

She was paler than she had been the night before, dark bags under her eyes. She appeared to be sleeping, her eyes closed so that her gentle eyelashes kissed her cheeks. Her eyes seemed large and swollen, too big all of a sudden. Her lush brown hair was gathered in a thick braid, which lay sprawled over her shoulder, reaching as far down as her knees. The lush brown color looked out of place in the sea of pale blue, white and gray. It was almost surreal. He reached down to brush the tip of his fingers over the length of her thick braid. He wanted to make sure that it was still there.

Nora moaned lightly, her face contracting in pain. Heero’s heart skipped a beat and he withdrew his hand. He turned to watch her face again, his blood-shot eyes taking her sight again, in small doses because it was too much to watch. He noted that a few stray hairs obscured her features, touching her nose and cheeks. Her pale lips were parched, slightly open to draw breath. There was an oxygen tube under her nose, and when he looked down he spotted an IV needle sneaking under her skin.

His legs were shaking, he felt as if he was about to collapse. He reached for a small wooden chair that stood by the bed and drew it closer. It made a loud creaking sound as its legs scrapped over the floor. The sound was too loud in the deathly silence, it made Heero flinch. He sat down carefully, trying not to make any more noise.

With a faltering breath, he turned back to face the bed. His eyes were drawn to where Nora’s pale and slender fingers were lying limply against the blue covers. He reached a hesitant hand for hers, carefully taking the fragile palm into his own hand. His sad blue eyes relished lengthily in the sight of their hands entwined. His callous bronze skin mixed with her pale and smooth one. His hand was slightly bigger than hers. He could remember a time when his hand was so small that it could still fit perfectly into his mother’s palm. It was one of those few childhood images that lingered to his brain, the way his mommy held his hand, how his small palm looked when it was swallowed by those larger, gentle, loving fingers. How those same fingers caressed him gently, tracing his face, playing with his hair.

His hold tightened around Nora’s fragile palm. It was this hand. It was Nora’s hand. His mother’s hand. Those were the same fingers, the same feeling he got when they touched him, tracing over his face. They always trailed over his features, always trying to create an image of him somehow. His eyes flooded with more tears at the realization. The pearly tears slid down to his lashes and lingered there when he realized that Nora never saw his face. His mother didn’t know what he looked like.

He sniffled, turning away from her as he closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop. A sudden movement of Nora’s fingers made him halt in his attempt. He felt her fingers curl tightly around his hand, and sniffling, he turned to face her.

Those blind blue eyes were looking straight at him, full of love and compassion. She was awake, and she was smiling at him.

“Shh, Heero... please don’t cry.” She whispered soothingly, her voice hoarse and rough with sickness. She squeezed his hand tightly, slightly rocking it from side to side.

Heero chuckled, or perhaps sobbed, coughing out a bitter sound. How could she always tell what he felt? What he was thinking? How did she know?

He took a moment to relax and calm his breathing, until he finally looked up at her. Through a blurry screen of tears, he asked, “You know?”

Nora’s smile faltered a bit, and she nodded slowly. “Yes.” She let out weakly, turning away from him to face the other way. “I’ve known for a while now.”

It took him a few moments to absorb the information. It was a while before he was able to speak over the lump in his throat. His heart ached badly. “Since when?”

Nora sighed, closing her eyes sadly. Her hold on his hand did not lose its strength though. It tightened. “I’ve known about the cancer for over a year,” she said, sighing, “and about you...” She smiled, finally turning to face him. “I think I always knew, somehow... or at least, I wished that it was so.” She let out a bitter chuckle, shaking her head slightly. “No, that’s absurd, isn’t it? How could I have known? But still, when you told me about your dreams... I didn’t need anymore confirmation.”

He was confused, and hurt. Maybe even scared. He fought to keep his hands from trembling, though he knew that she could sense it anyway. Leaning back in his seat, he took a few long breaths, trying to keep himself from suffocating with anguish, anger and confusion. Most of all there was confusion. Why didn’t she tell him if she knew?

“Why deny it? Why didn’t you tell me when I asked you?” He asked, his voice hurt and he wasn’t trying to hide it. He will hide nothing from her, he hardly ever did. It hurt to know that she kept so many things hidden from him. He felt so unworthy of her, so worthless in aiding her. While she was healing his heart for the past year, he was only adding to her pain. He was a shameful son. A mother’s nightmare.

His fist clenched tightly around her hand. She didn’t even wince. Instead, she reached another, trembling, hand and laid it gently over their two palms. She caressed his palm softly, her fingers trailing up and down his slender wrist, lightly petting his forearm.

“Heero,” she whispered quietly, her voice shaking with unborn tears, “I knew that I was dying and I... didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to lose me again.”

Anger. He didn’t know where it came from, or why. He was angry all of a sudden. He wanted to grab her roughly and shake some sense into her. Her thinking was twisted! It was more distorted than his own!

“What difference does it make?!” He hissed angrily, yanking his hand out of her grasp. “I’m losing you as it is! Does it really matter if you are my mother or not?! It makes no difference to me! Why didn’t you tell me about the cancer?! Dammit, Nora! Why didn’t you... don’t you trust me?”

The anger dissolved. He didn’t have the strength to be angry. He didn’t really think that he should be. He was wrong for bursting at her like that. He couldn’t help it; he hoped that she understood that. There were so many emotions inside him right now, he felt as if his heart was about to burst. It hurt so much, that inner turmoil, he wanted to cry and scream and laugh at the same time. He was too exhausted to do any of it.

Sighing heavily, he slumped back into his seat, burying his face in his hands. “I could have been there for you... I wanted to... I’ve always wanted to be there for you, as you were there for me...” He mumbled, his voice muffled for he was speaking into his palms. His voice was shaking with tears again. Damn, traitorous liquid. It never stopped pouring out of his eyes. The more pain pumped through his heart and into his veins, the more salty tears he poured. His heart grew soft over the past year. It didn’t take pain too well; it didn’t hold the capacity to hold it in anymore. It hurt so much...

“I’m sorry...” He cried, shaking his head slowly as more tears poured into his hands. “I never knew what to say or do, Nora... I... I wanted to... I wanted you to be able to depend on me, like I do on you... I’m sorry... I... I let you down... I’m so sorry...”

“Heero.” Nora spoke, sitting up. Her voice was surprisingly strong, harsh even. It left no room for arguments. Sniffling, Heero slowly took his arms down, and looked at her. Fat tears were still sliding down his cheeks, and his blue eyes were shimmering under the florescent light of the room. Nora’s blue eyes were directed straight at him again. She knew him so well she could always guess where to point her blind gaze. Her gaze was intense, her blue eyes burning fiercely despite their blindness. Heero couldn’t help but feel that she was angry with him. This is it. This is when she tells him she is ashamed to have him as a son. Such a worthless, shameful, useless son.

“Heero, I’m the one at wrong here.” She said with a sigh, bowing her head in shame and slumping her shoulders. Her hands were lying limply over her lap, which made her look like a rebuked child.

“I thought... I thought I could get over it, somehow. I didn’t want to worry you, Heero. You have enough on your mind as it is.” She admitted shamefully, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I guess it’s part of my nature. I always want to be the strong one, I always want to prove myself, even if it’s only to myself.” She sighed, and turned to face him again, opening a pair of tearful blue eyes. “I’m so sorry, Heero. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I wanted to tell you so many times, but then I though... why trouble you? Why torment you further? I can get through this... somehow... I really thought that I could get over it.”

Again that tight ball of anger, deep in the pits of his stomach. “Get over it?! Nora, this is not the flu we are talking about! This is cancer! Dammit, Nora! You are so stubborn!” One minute he was crying and the next he was shouting. He felt drained.

And now she was smiling at him, a hint of amusement was sparkling weakly in her eyes. “At least you know where you got your own stubbornness from.”

He wanted to be angry again, but he couldn’t. He found himself smiling slightly, and then shaking his head in a rebuking way. “This is not funny. I’m not laughing.” He muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose as his lover often did in such a situation.

“No... no you’re not.” She mumbled, turning away.

Silence fell, and settled for a while. It was so quiet Heero could hear the low humming of the florescent lights, along with the natural background noise of the hospital life. He wondered if Duo was doing okay in the waiting room. He hoped he wasn’t worrying his lover too much. Just this weekend the three of them were sitting by the dinner table at Nora’s apartment, enjoying a friendly board game after a quiet dinner. Duo paired with Nora (to help her due to her blindness) and the two played against him. They won and he moped, and all in all they had a great time. There was a smile on his face the whole evening. It felt as if it had been over an eternity ago, but the memory did manage to calm him. He took a deep breath, and turned back to Nora. To his... to his mother.

He wanted to try and say it. Could he really? Should he? Maybe just once, to taste it on his lips. Just once...

With a faltering breath, he reached for her hand again, cupping her palm with both of his. He turned to look at her, leaning closer to the bed. She turned her head to face him, her expression confused.

“Heero?”

He tried to say it, but it didn’t come out. His mouth was dry. He licked his lips and tried again. “M-mother.” He said, and it felt so terribly awkward. Misplaced. The term didn’t belong, didn’t apply here. It felt alien on his lips, like he had never called anyone by that title.

Nevertheless, Nora smiled, her amusement clearly showing. She flipped her hand over to return his hold, squeezing his hand lightly. “Oh, Heero,” she called in sympathy, “you don’t have to force yourself to call me that. I understand.” She smiled, and bent forward to kiss his forehead. The touch of her lips was still warm, like he knew a mother’s kiss should be. “I don’t think I can start calling you Hikari. Even if you are my son... you’re Heero now. This is what your life had shaped you into. I’m not going to change that.”

He smiled back for some reason, relieved. “It would be quite a hassle to change my name after finally acquiring a citizenship.” He joked, surprised by how his mood lightened. She had this affect on him, this woman. She always made his heart feel lighter, no matter how grave the situation was. Was that what being someone’s son felt like? Was this what it felt like to be by your mother’s side? Yes. Yes it did. To him, at least.

“Besides,” she added with a smirk too much like his own, “you never called me ‘mother’. You didn’t speak a word of English when you were little!” she chuckled, as if caressed by a pleasant memory. “Hayashi and I spoke Japanese at home, and that’s what we taught you. We agreed on teaching you English when you turned three... it’s an excellent age to learn new languages.” Her shoulders slumped all of a sudden, and her cheerful tone slowly faded. Sadness was shining in her eyes again. “I guess... I guess you learned on your own...” She mumbled sadly, bowing her head in order to hide her tears.

Heero suddenly realized that he had only seen her cry once. While he had shed many tears on her shoulder, this was only the second time he had seen her cry. His heart was filled with pain and admiration for this woman. She was so strong and yet... she was always so alone. He ached to take her pain away, absorb it all into him with a hug. He climbed on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling the shaking woman into a warm embrace. He guided her head to rest on his shoulder, and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. He inhaled the scent of her hair into his lungs, and let her pour all of her misery into him. He held her tightly as she cried, wrapping her arms around him also. She clung to him tightly; locking her arms around his waist in a powerful, desperate, grip.

She began apologizing between sobs, choking out incoherent apologies as she cried. She apologized for not being there for him, saying she was sorry for all the pain he’d been through, for all the horrors he had seen. She cried harder and harder as she began to bring up events of his past, bits and pieces of what he had told her about the training, the war, the pain. She apologized for each and every one of those times. For each time he suffered and she was not there.

Heero kept silent, looking ahead numbly as he listened to her cry and remind him of each painful experience, each time another part of his soul was torn away and shattered. It didn’t hurt when he thought about it. There was just numb acceptance. It was in the past, he was healed. Thanks to her, he was healed. So at some point he stopped listening and just stroked her hair, his fingers toying with the tip of her long, thick, braid. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the sensations around him. Her warm body, the sound of her silent whimpering, the feeling of her warm tears soaking his dark blue shirt. The softness of her hair, the thick width of her braid. It was much thicker than Duo’s. It had a completely different feeling to it. It was softer somehow, warmer in some bizarre way. It felt heavy between his fingers, such a pleasantly familiar weight in his hand. A memory suddenly came to him, and he smiled. He remembered when his hand was so small he couldn’t wrap it around the entire diameter of her braid.

Opening his eyes, he drew back a little so he could bend his head and kiss her hair. He placed a gentle kiss at the top of her head. She sniffled loudly and raised her head up. He offered another kiss to her forehead and then gently parted with her.

“I’m okay.” He whispered, looking down into her eyes. “I made it out okay.” He repeated, watching her tearful eyes shimmer in uncertainty. “Don’t feel sorry for my hardship. None of it was your fault.” He assured her, his voice warm and gentle as he spoke.

Her lips trembled, she was about to speak. He silenced her with his finer.

“No.” he whispered, “We will not discuss this. It is not open for discussion.” He carefully got off the bed and helped her lie down. “I want you to sleep, Nora. You exhausted yourself.” He tucked her in, raising the pale blue blanket up and covering her gently. She lay silently, simply letting him tend to her. There were a few more tears sliding silently down her cheeks, but her eyes were clearer now, focused and bright. They were looking straight at him again, as if able to see him somehow. She was looking up at him like a curious child.

Heero bent down and kissed her forehead. “Goodnight.” He whispered, while holding her hand gently. “I’m going to have a few words with your doctor and then come back. Try to get some sleep.” He was about to let go of her hand and walk away; when he felt her fingers curl tightly around him. Confused, he turned back to her. “I’ll be back.” He promised, trying to sooth her.

But she wasn’t distressed. She was smiling. Her intense blue eyes were looking at him brightly. And that smile... it lighted her face even more. “You’re so handsome...” She whispered blissfully, tears flooding her eyes. “Just like your father...” Her hand went limp in his grasp, and she was asleep. Heero continued standing there for a few more moments, completely dazed.

* * *

For the following weeks, Heero didn’t get to see much of the world outside the hospital. He was always by Nora’s side, through chemotherapy sessions, doctor examinations, or simply sitting by her hospital bed while she slept. The medical staff in the ward had learned fairly quickly that the visiting hours did not apply to him. All they had to see was the look in his eyes and that was enough to suggest that the young man should be left alone, by his mother’s side. He fed her when she was too weak to move, and he cleaned after her when she was too nauseous to eat. He read to her to pass the time, and held her hand when pain attacked her in the middle of the night.

He asked her to tell him about her past, for he never grew tired of it. He asked many questions, about his father, what was he like and how the two of them met. He asked about his grandparents, about both sides of the family. He asked about her life after his supposed death and the loss of her husband. He wanted to know everything.

When she was too tired to speak, it was his turn to talk. He would talk about the lighter memories he had from his life. Of the way Odin Lowe used to play hide-and-seek with him sometimes, and about the time when he taught him how to read. He told her about the first time he saw his Gundam and was stunned by the sheer size of it that he froze in his spot and couldn’t move. And about the nights he spent on the road with Trowa and his circus, how he met many bizarre and interesting people there. He told her about the forming of his friendship with Duo, and about the only time he ever danced with a girl.

She would lie slumped in her bed, eyes closed, but listening to his every word. She would smile when she noted that he was speaking of a particularly sweet memory, and she would tense when he told something suspenseful, like a certain battle or a mission he thought he’d never live through.

Duo came to visit from time to time, each time carrying a present for her and Heero as well. He brought many amusing gizmos; silly toys and gadgets she could play with, using only her fingers for you didn’t need the gift of sight to enjoy such silly gifts. Sometimes he brought Heero a book or a box of chocolates, maybe even a silly gift like a slinky or a little Transformer™ action figure. Anything to make the two of them smile. He would sit with them for a few hours, sometimes keeping Nora company while Heero went home for a few hours to shower and get some shuteye. He was spending most of his time in the hospital, getting little sleep in insufficient nutrition.

The University began sending him notices by mail after about two months of his absence. They queried about his health and reminded him, more than a few times, that he had finales coming up. When he missed the first test, he got another notice, and then another and another. They began sending him warnings that he will not be applied for the next semester and he will lose his post-military scholarship. Duo was kind enough to go take care of things for Heero, and after a long session with the dean it was agreed that Heero would be able to take the exams in a later occasion.

All in all Heero was keeping his act together somehow. He lived from one moment to another, dreading the mere thought of what will come next. He escorted Nora into chemo, waited until it was over and then the two somehow made it through the rest of the day. He became used to the routine, as much as it hurt him to admit it. He could hardly remember anything else but green walls and pale blue sheets. When his lover came to visit, it looked so unreal. Duo’s bright and cheerful personality didn’t fit into his world anymore. It was like a fleeting dream, coming in and out every now and then. And so it happened that as time went by and Nora slowly lost her health and good looks, Heero’s humanity also began to fade. On some days, he looked like nothing more of his own shadow.

He reached his breaking point on the day the doctor informed him that they shaved Nora’s hair off. His mother’s hair had been molting rapidly, and she asked them to shave it off. The doctor warned Heero of the sudden change before the young man entered Nora’s hospital room. Duo, who was standing behind Heero, watched his lover’s face in concern. Heero’s pale and haggard features didn’t seem the slightest bit affected by the doctor’s words. He simply accepted it with a curt nod, and walked into the room.

His resolve died the moment he saw her small, white, bald head resting against the pillow. Her eyes looked even larger now, sunken deeply into her skull. He held on for as long as he could before he ran out of the room and straight into Duo’s arms. He collapsed onto his lover and wept like a child, his entire figure shaking as Duo held him tight. It took a few more efforts and Duo’s arms around him to help him walk back to Nora’s bedside. It was from that day on that Heero’s Prussian blue eyes were always filled with tears.

Duo couldn’t bear to see his lover like this anymore. He would stand there, leaning against the door in Nora’s hospital room, and watch his lover sit slumped on a chair by her bed, holding her hand. His back was always bent, his head bowed and his shoulders slumped. He was a shadow of his old self, the strong, proud and hopeful young man who used to smile at him each time they met. A smile that would bring a rosy shade to his cheeks and a bright light to his beautiful eyes. There was only gray, black and white in Heero’s features. He always looked tired, famished and miserable. He rarely ate, he never seemed to sleep for more than an hour or two, and his eyes were always tearful. He resembled a ghost, mourning over its lost life.

Duo could take it no more. Not that he blamed Heero for being in such a gloom. He imagined he would be the same if he would gain and lose someone he loves at the same day. But it still hurt to see his lover so down. Heero was not taking care of himself, and it was unacceptable in Duo’s eyes. So after three months, Duo decided he had enough. Instead of bearing gifts on his visit, he came and announced, to both Heero and Nora, that he is taking Heero home, to get some rest.

Nora didn’t argue. She nodded slowly, her eyes thankful. Duo gathered that she understood his motives, and she agreed with them. Heero needed to be out of the hospital for a while.

Heero protested of course, claiming to be “just fine”. Duo didn’t bother with arguing. He ordered Heero to get out of the room and walk with him to the car. His tone left no room for arguments, he meant business. Heero was rendered speechless by the intense look in his lover’s eyes. He was too tired to argue anyway. Like with anything else he had done lately, he simply accepted. Without a word, he got off his creaky chair, forcing his cramped muscles to follow Duo into the car.

When they arrived to his apartment, Heero noted thankfully that his sofa/bed was made and the apartment was clean. Duo had been taking care of things, as always. He headed straight to bed, not even showering, and collapsed on top of the thick mattress. He inhaled the clean smell of the fresh sheets, taking their scent deeply into his lungs. He had gotten used to sheets that smelled of antiseptic and sickness. The smell of Lavender Laundry Softener was a welcomed change.

Closing his eyes, he kicked his shoes off using only his feet, and then buried himself under the sweetly cool covers. It was summer time and the air was hot. The hospital was always cooled by the scentless air conditioning, but here in his apartment there was only the cool breeze that entered through the main window. It carried the scent of flowers into the apartment as it brushed over Heero with a caress.

“How long has it been since you last slept?” Duo’s bittersweet voice reached his ears from somewhere behind.

With his eyes still closed, he mumbled into the pillow, “...about sixty hours...”

“Christ.” Duo muttered, shaking his head as he walked over to the sofa/bed. “Go to sleep, Heero.”

“I’m so tired, I can’t fall asleep.” Heero slurred tiredly into his pillow, his words coming out more like a moan than a sentence.

Duo climbed on the bed. “Bullshit. You’re already half asleep.” He said softly, lying down next to Heero. He laid his head on the pillow next to Heero’s, and since his lover was sprawled gracelessly over %85 of the bed, he had to curl at the edge of the small mattress. He sighed and turned his gaze towards Heero, studying the way the light from the window touched Heero’s bangs, which lay sprawled all over his face and pillow. Some long bangs reached as far down as his mouth, and they moved up and down when Heero mumbled that, “I’ll have nightmares.”

Duo’s heart clenched in pain for a moment, before he reached a hand down between their bodies, and took Heero’s limp hand in his. “No you won’t. I’m here.” He assured him with a soothing whisper, using his thumb to caress Heero’s inner palm.

Heero remained motionless, lying heavily against the mattress as his body relaxed. His eyes were still closed, obscured by his bangs. His dry lips slightly parted after a moment or two. Duo was certain that he fell asleep, so he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax we well.

“Does it bother you that we...” Heero suddenly spoke, his voice heavy with sleep, “that we only had sex once?”

Duo opened his eyes, a shade of confusion trailing like a cloud over his violet eyes. “What do you mean?” He asked, unsure.

Heero sighed, shrugging his shoulders briefly against the mattress. His eyes were still closed. “We’ve been together for nearly eight months, and we only made love to each other once.” His voice was more coherent now, which suggested how important the topic was for him. He opened his eyes, and looked straight into Duo’s. “I want to know if it bothers you.”

Duo was still stunned by the question, so it took him a moment to respond. When he finally did, he smiled. His eyes shone warmly as he looked at Heero with a kind smile. “No, Heero. It doesn’t bother me. I guess it just... makes it more special.”

Heero frowned, small wrinkles forming on his forehead, where his messy bangs allowed one to actually see it. “But other couples...”

“We’re not other couples, we’re us.” Duo cut in before Heero could finish what he was saying. “And we do whatever suits us.” His smile grew, and he squeezed Heero’s hand, which he was still holding. He bent forward to kiss Heero gently on the lips, and then turned to look deeply into his tired blue eyes. “I understand that you are not in the mood for this right now, and to be honest, neither am I.” He gave Heero another quick kiss on the nose. “Now don’t trouble yourself with this any further and go to sleep, all right?” He added another little kiss just for good measure and then returned to lie against his own pillow.

Heero smiled, his eyes shining with gratitude. He didn’t say another word, simply closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Duo only managed to sleep for a total of five hours. When he woke up, Heero was still sound asleep, snoring softly into his pillow. After a while of just gazing adoringly at him, Duo got up and began tending the apartment. When he was done cleaning, he went out on some errands, buying their weekly groceries, doing the laundry and the likes. He then came back to shower and change into Heero’s blue/white/pink uniforms. He made sure that Heero was sleeping deeply and then silently left the apartment.

He took the bus to the diner where Heero worked and greeted Malcolm on the way in. He then did what he had been doing for each week for the past three months, without Heero’s knowing. He covered for him at work. He felt bad for hiding this from Heero, but he knew that his lover would never let him do it any other way. He would feel bad for having Duo do things for him. Only that Duo did it gladly, he knew how much Heero needed the money. He decided to tell Heero about this when it was all over. Hopefully he will understand.

When his six-hours shift was done, Duo bid his farewell to his temporary boss and fellow worker, and made his way out of the diner. On the way home he stopped by the university and began searching for Heero’s lecturers from each and ever course, as well as a few classmates he knew shared a certain course with Heero. They all knew the routine and what Duo came for. He was there to photocopy their notes and gather new assignments from the various doctors and professors.

He’d been doing this for a while now, ever since he had that talk with the dean regarding Heero’s scholarship. One of the terms were that if Heero did not attend any lectures, hand in assignments and take the exams, he should at least keep himself in the loop and catch up with his classes every now and then. He had all the assignments due at the end of the next semester, or he will not be allowed to continue his studying. Duo hoped that Heero would be able to catch up with everything until then.

After about two hours of roaming the university halls and library, Duo paid a short visit to his dorm. He took an hour to simply rest, then did some reading on a few texts he had to go through. Without another wasted second, he packed an overnight bag, throwing various things into a large duffle. He had all of his necessities at Heero’s apartment, but the bag he was packing now had a different purpose. Duo Maxwell had a certain plan in mind.

When he arrived back to Heero’s place, Duo shoved his heavy duffle into the trunk of his car, which he left parked by Heero’s building. He entered the small apartment and found that his lover was still asleep, as he had been for the last fifteen hours. Sighing heavily, Duo set to work to make dinner. He was sure that Heero would wake up soon, and he would be hungry. His lover hadn’t been eating properly for a few weeks now, and he set his mind on making him a large, nutritious meal.

He worked hard, cutting vegetables, boiling rice, stirring the soup. His feet ached after a long day, but he allowed himself no rest. It was his way of hiding and running. He worked hard and left himself no room for thinking. No time to collapse. If he just kept going, a little longer, by and by, somehow he’ll make it. Just keep going. Don’t think. Just keep going. It was the same during the war and the same applied for his entire life. Just keep going. Keep busy. Don’t think. Keep running. Keep running. He had to be strong. Just a little longer and it will be over. Just a little longer.

His movements were brutal as he used a large knife to chop some pieces of beef. His hands moved hastily as he threw it in a wok and stirred it. The silent apartment was filled with the sound of cooking. The sizzling and crackling of various foods. The silence was beginning to bother him, but he didn’t want to turn the radio on and wake Heero. The boy needed his sleep. So he worked quietly, trying to tell himself that those were not tears in his eyes. It was that damn onion.

But when he was done cooking, he found himself sitting by the miniature kitchen table, with barely enough room for one, surrounded by silence. There was nothing left to do. He did everything he could think of. And now, sitting here alone, in silence, he had no choice but to admit that those were indeed tears stinging his eyes. He didn’t even use onion!

He sat slumped in a small plastic chair, completely powerless to stop the tears rolling down his cheeks. He was exhausted; lying sprawled on the chair like a rag doll, shedding silent tears. In his hands, he held a few small pieces of paper, torn out of a yellow notepad. They were recopies. Recipes written in Nora’s neat and stylish handwriting. A blind woman’s writing. It made him cry even harder as he clutched the papers tightly. They only reminded him of how strong she was, how similar to Heero she was. She never gave up. She never let life beat her down. She was blind, yes, but that didn’t stop her from writing these recipes for Heero. She was so strong in everything she did. And now... now she was... she was dying... she was losing that strength so quickly... so ungracefully. It hurt him so much to think about it. And as she withered away, Heero withered as well. It made Duo cry even harder.

He curled into himself, folding his body on the chair and buried his face between his knees. He began to sob quietly, each sob like a restrained cough. He was trying to keep silent, he didn’t want to wake Heero, but it was hard to keep the sobs away. The tears overwhelmed him. He never cries, he just runs and hides. No. It was a good time to cry. He should cry now, before Heero awakes. He had to cry now, so he could be stronger later on. He had to be strong. Strong for Heero. Heero needed him right now. And the only way for him to get stronger is to help Heero be strong. If he will help Heero, he will help himself. It was better to cry now. Tomorrow he had plans of smiling, because tomorrow, he was going to make Heero smile. They’ll keep each other strong that way. The way they always do.

* * *

That evening, before Heero woke up from his long sleep, Duo went to visit Nora. With a heavy sigh, he walked into Nora’s hospital room and closed the door behind him.

“Heero?” Her tired voice reached his ears even before he turned away from the door. He took two steps forward and opened his mouth, about to tell her whom he was. She beat him to it.

“Duo. What are you doing here? Where’s Heero?”

Duo halted, and bowed his head down so he could look at his shoes. A brand new pair of black & white Nikes™. He bought them two days ago. How could she recognize his footsteps so quickly? With a frown, he shook that thought away and walked over to the bed.

“I ordered him to stay home and rest.” He explained in a quite voice, pulling out a chair so he could sit by her bed.

“Has he eaten anything? He hardly ever eats anymore.” Nora asked, rolling over to lie on her side so she could face him. Duo did his best to ignore her bald head, and nodded his head slowly. After a moment, he reconsidered and provided a verbal answer.

“I’ve become quite handy around the kitchen.” He tried to say as lightly as possible, though his voice still came out bitter, even to his own ears. “And I always threaten to shove my cooking down his throat if he doesn’t eat willingly.”

Nora chuckled, and then coughed. “You two are such a strange couple.” She smiled at him, her eyes shining weakly. “You’re perfect for each other.”

Duo cleared his throat in a nervous gesture and hurried to turn his blushing face away from her intense blind eyes. He looked over the small table by her bed, and then down at a small bag he had brought in with him. “Would you like me to read for you?” He asked as he pulled a book out of his bag.

“Sure, I’d like that.” She said, closing her eyes and settling more comfortably into her bed. “I love the sound of your voice.”

Again he was blushing. She had the unique talent of embarrassing him to the point where he wanted to bury his head in the ground. Like that one time when she asked him (while Heero was nowhere around them) who was the dominant one in their relationship. He nearly had a nosebleed then!

“Which book have you got for me this time?” She asked, already eager to know. Duo had a great taste in books; she always enjoyed the books he picked. She closed her eyes and relaxed her aching body; opening her mind in anticipation for the flow of images his amiable voice will bring to her mind. He had just the right tone and manner to tell stories. His reading could truly make a book come to life.

Opening a thick book, Duo cleared his throat and then read the title. “The Never-ending Story, by Michael Ende.”

Nora giggled silently, opening her eyes. “A children’s book?!”

Duo scowled at her. “It is not a children’s book. Far from it.” He protested, waving a finger at her. “Besides, I recommended this book to Heero a while ago and he happened to like it. A _lot_.”

“All right, all right.” Nora said, still smiling. “I’d love to hear it. Go on.”

“Right.” He muttered, turning back to the book.

She listened to his voice tell the tale of a boy, who entered a book and experienced a world of magic. Duo was right. This book was one that let the imagination run free. It didn’t matter if you were blind or not, the sights described in the book were so extraordinary that you could only see them using your imagination. She let his voice guide her up and away on the wings of imagination, letting her get lost in a magical tale. But somewhere between Duo’s honey-like voice and the sights her mind was flooded with, Nora began to zone out a little. She drifted elsewhere, leaving the sight of purple meadows and enchanted forests, and flying towards somewhere else. It was like a part of her mind was left listening to Duo, while another one detached from her body and took a trip elsewhere, far away from that day, that age, that place.

She could see. Her eyes could see. It was so bright. She was standing in a large, stylish kitchen. The windows were open, allowing bright light to pour into the kitchen and paint the colorful wallpaper with an even brighter shade. The light blue wallpaper was decorated with small yellow flower and orange dots. The sight overwhelmed her. There was so much color. Turning around she drank the sight of the kitchen hungrily, from the yellowish cupboards, the creamy countertop and the shiny, polished wooden floor. This was a good house, very fancy. Whoever lived here made a lot of money.

The edges of the kitchen were a little murky, like covered with fog. It slowly cleared, and so did her confusion. When she could finally see the large dining table at the corner of the kitchen, she suddenly knew to whom the house belonged. She had lived in it for almost ten years now, ever since Hayashi got his promotion.

At the corner of the kitchen, at each side of the grand dinner table, stood two large windows, overlooking the garden. Green trees and soft yellow light created a game of light and shadow outside the window, casting soft silhouettes over the polished wooden table. A large mug of thick black coffee was raising steam up in the air as it sat by a full plate at the head of the table. There were three plates in total, all of them waiting for their guests. Her husband should be coming down soon.

And just as she thought of her husband, he came down the stairs leading to the upper floor (it was a three story house) and entered the kitchen. He was already leafing through his morning paper, which got delivered to him every morning, scanning it from behind his fashionable glasses. He was wearing a dark blue business suit, looking as handsome as the day she first saw him. He smiled at her as he walked to the dinning table, and she smiled back. Breakfast was already served to the table, and all she had left to do was take the bread out of the toaster. She placed it in a decorated blue bowl, straightened her lavender dress and walked to the table.

Hayashi was already sipping his coffee when she took a seat at the table. They exchanged glances for a moment, smiling at each other, before turning to enjoy a quiet meal together.

“Smells delicious.” Her husband commented with a smile as he put his newspaper down and turned to examine his breakfast. He looked up at his wife, and then glanced to the left, at the empty plate waiting there, along with a large glass full of orange juice. He turned back to his wife with a questioning look. “Where’s—”

He didn’t even finish his sentence when their son walked into the kitchen. The handsome teen flashed them a bright smile as he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. He was dressed sloppily, his school jacket hanging loosely over his shoulders, his shirt tucked out of his pants. She knew without him saying so that he overslept. Still he manages to look radiant and cheerful in the morning. His lovely smile lighted his features and went deeply into his blue eyes. He was a charmer, her son. The ladies fell at his feet for just that heavenly smile of his.

“Ohayou!” He greeted his parents with a playful voice, and took his seat at the table. Without further a due, he gulped his organe juice down.

“Hikari!” She rebuked him, a scowl on her face though she was extremely amused. “Slow down!”

It was too late for he was already finished. He placed the glass on the table and gave out a small chuckle. “Sorry mom.” He apologized, his cobalt eyes shining with mischief.

“I sure hope you won’t behave like this at the ball tomorrow.” Hayashi muttered, shaking his head before turning to his newspaper.

“What ball? You said I didn’t have to go anymore!” Hikari whined in his own unique teenager way, pouting his lips before he turned to face her. She couldn’t help but chuckle. He was sixteen-years-old and still as cute as he was the day he was born!

“Mom! Tell him! He said I didn’t have to go to another stupid party!”

“Now, now, Hikari,” she began to sooth him gently, “just this time. You know how important this is to your father’s job. All of the ambassadors will be brining their children along.”

Hikari snorted and rolled his eyes. “Great! Another stupid OZ-kiss-up party... _sweet_.” He scowled angrily, crossing his hands over his chest. “This is unfair,” he accused, “I promised Duo I’ll come over tonight!”

Something wasn’t right. Who was Duo? Wait. She knew who Duo was. He was Heero’s lover. Heero? Yes, Heero. There was no Hikari. There was Heero. He was her son. His name was Heero. But Heero was not sixteen... he was almost twenty by now. Then why...? Because it wasn’t real. A dream. She must have fallen asleep. It was a dream. Too bad, though. It felt so real... For a moment she felt so happy to be a part of her son’s life. To have him as a kid again, just for a brief while... She was sure that Hayashi would have loved it too...

“...ora? Nora? Are you all right? Nora?”

Duo’s voice slowly sipped into her consciousness. He sounded worried. She opened her eyes, expecting to see him leaning over her, but there was only black. Of course there was only black. Only her dreams had color. She suddenly wondered how he looked like. She didn’t have the nerve to ask him, but once she asked Heero about it, and her son chuckled lightly before assuring her that his lover is as sexy as he sounds. She could only take his word for it.

She realized that he was still calling her name, his tone anxious and worried. She forced herself to smile at him, sitting up with great effort. “I’m sorry. I must have dozed off for a second.” She muttered with a groan, finally settling into a sitting position.

“It’s all right. I understand.” He said with a sad little smile, settling back into his chair. “I think we had enough reading for one day.” He muttered and placed the book on her nightstand. He remained seated quietly, his hands in his lap and his numb gaze at the floor.

“How’s Heero doing?” Nora asked after a while of silence.

Duo sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “He’s hanging in there.”

“I’m sure you’re doing your best to take care of him.”

Duo snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, sure. If he lets me.”

A sad smile touched Nora’s lips, and then vanished. She bowed her head down and looked away. There was a heavy silence, at which she seemed very thoughtful. Duo was almost sure that she fell asleep, before she turned to him again.

“Duo, can I ask something of you? A favor?” She asked, her blind blue eyes finding their way to his face, looking at him intensely.

He swallowed, clearing the lump from his throat. Her gaze was too intense to be blind. “S-sure. Anything.”

She smiled in gratitude, and nodded her head. Taking a deep breath, she diverted her gaze for a moment before turning to him again. “Take care of Heero after I’m gone. He’s going to need you more than ever.”

His first response was a weird little cough as he looked away. Her request made him very uneasy. It stirred his heart in a painful way. It was a moment or two before he faced her again, chuckling nervously. “Nora, don’t be silly. You’ll be fine.”

She just smiled warmly, her eyes shining with some unrevealed knowledge. “I know. But just in case, all right? Promise me?”

Duo sighed heavily, letting his head hang down in defeat. “Sure, Nora. I promise.”

“Thank you, Duo.” She whispered, her voice faltering a bit.

“But you should concentrate on getting better!” Duo suddenly insisted, jerking his head up to look at her fiercely. “Don’t give up so easily!”

Again that warm, compassionate smile. It was the same look Heero gave him when he knew he was going to break a promise. He knew that look. He hated it. It was the sweet, innocent face of a lie.

“I’ve been sick for so long, Duo... I let the cancer slowly eat me alive. There’s not much chance of recovery, you know that.” She mumbled sadly, closing her eyes in shame. “I was so stupid... wishing to die like that...”

She felt Duo reach for her hand, and she turned to cup his warm hand in both her palms. She looked up and smiled at him. “Heero will need you after I am gone. He might have come a long way from the person he used to be, but he still needs an anchor, a guide, in life.” She squeezed his hand tighter. “You’re the only one for him, Duo. I’m sorry to bind you to someone at such an early age... you are only twenty... but you see... I _know_ that you two are meant for each other.”

“You don’t have to convince me, Nora.” Duo whispered softly, his tone full of love and warmth. “You are not binding me to anyone. I was bound to him from the moment we met. That was five years ago, and my feelings did not change. I will not let him out of my sight unless he’ll kill me.”

That earned him a small chuckle from Nora. “And according to what he once told me, he nearly did!”

Duo also smiled, and slowly pulled back. “Nah!” he said, waving his hand dismissingly, “he didn’t have the heart!” And they both had a good-hearted laugh, venting out the pressure. The air felt lighter after a few mirthful chuckles, and then Nora’s expression became serious again.

“I know what you mean about knowing when you’ve found your one and only. I met Hayashi when I was twenty-one. Two months after we met I already knew that I wanted to live my life with him. At twenty-three I was married and with a child.” She sighed heavily and looked away, a hint of sadness and regret crossing her pale features.

“My family insisted that I was still too young, but I knew what I wanted. We drew apart because they were against my marriage to Hayashi, a Colony-born and of Asian heritage. I went against my father’s words and left Earth to live in the Colonies, along with my husband. They saw me as a traitor, but I didn’t care. I was happy. Even when I lost my eyesight, I didn’t regret a thing. I had a husband and a son, and the two of them kept me happy.”

She sniffled, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. “But I lost them, lost my happiness. I didn’t even have a family to go back to. I didn’t want to bother Hayashi’s family, they were mourning as well. I came back to Earth and just... did my best to disappear... somehow... When I learned about the cancer, I was almost happy. I grew tired of living, and the war didn’t hold any promise from me to die. No battles occurred where I was, and in my condition it seemed impossible to go out and seek death. This disease was my redemption.” She snorted bitterly and buried her face in her hand. “Another stupid decision I made in my life... keeping the disease that will be the end of me.”

“Nora...” Duo whispered, but he had nothing to say. He thought it better to keep quiet. He laid his hand on hers and simply listened.

“I holed up in my little dark apartment and simply counted the months to my death. I was becoming more and more bitter because it was taking longer than I thought. I even thought of ending my life and getting it over with, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” She sighed, shrugging. “And then... I met Heero. He turned my world upside down. I didn’t want to die anymore. I had to make him happy. I just _had_ to!”

She turned to face Duo, her eyes wide with wonder, as if she just realized something gravely important. “From the moment I heard that quiet voice of his, I felt that there was something about him. My heart opened up to him so quickly... I guess I knew somewhere, deep down...” She chuckled and shook her head, quickly dismissing the thought. “It’s ludicrous, I know, but I would like to think that... I don’t know... Tell me, Duo, what is the purpose of our reunion if I am to die now? I am beyond help, but what good will it do for Heero?”

Duo took a moment to breathe, her long tale leaving a heavy feeling in his chest. He placed his hand on her delicate shoulder. “I don’t know, Nora. I don’t know why you are to die now, but I do know that you had a great role in Heero’s life. If not for you, I hate to think what would have happened to him. He could have died or even kill himself. You saved him, redeemed his soul somehow. That’s a whole lot of good from one small meeting by chance.”

She was blushing, as she always did when someone complimented her. Her eyes filled with tears, and she had to cover her mouth with her fist to hold back a sob. She pulled away from him, facing the other way, so she could compose herself.

“I just wish I didn’t have to leave him now... it will break his heart.” She whispered pleadingly at thin air, before whirling around to face Duo again. “I’m counting on you, Duo. Please make him happy.”

He smiled, and then sniffled, his violet eyes also tearful. “I’ll do my best.” He promised, his voice faltering but his heart unwavering from its course.

* * *

The cityscape passed by in a blur of gray, white and blue outside the car’s window. Heero’s numb blue eyes took the sights in as he gazed out the passenger’s window in Duo’s car. He looked up at where the tall skyscrapers kissed the sky, where little sheep-like clouds crawled slowly through the summer skies. His eyes trailed lazily over the sights speeding outside the car, looking in a detached manner at the crowds walking the streets, the busy traffic and the colorful variety of shops.

When Duo stopped at a red traffic light, he watched a young mother and her son cross the road together hand in hand. She was carrying many shopping bags and he was licking an ice-cream cone. They were happy, obviously unaware of other people’s sadness - like the heavy grief residing in his heart. The boy’s eyes met with his as he walked past Duo’s red car, somehow drawn to the deep sorrow in Heero’s cobalt eyes. By the time the traffic light turned green and Duo drove on, Heero was sure that the boy had already forgotten about him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning heavily into the passenger’s seat. He was terribly tired, even after the long sleep Duo forced upon him. He didn’t have the strength to do anything anymore. He didn’t argue with Duo when his lover forced him to eat a large, nutritious breakfast. He didn’t even protest when Duo swept the car keys and told him to get into the car. Usually he didn’t let Duo drive him to the hospital, but he was too tired to argue. He was tired of everything lately.

Opening his eyes, Heero turned to look at his lover. Duo was concentrated on driving, struggling through the morning traffic. His features were haggard from lack of sleep, his lips pouted in concentration. Heero couldn’t help but to smile a little. He found it cute. His smile grew when Duo exhaled a forceful breath in an attempt to push his bangs out of his eyes.

He allowed his eyes to wander down Duo’s form, slowly trailing down his chest. He studied the way Duo’s skin-tight shirt clung to his muscled torso, and the way its dark red color matched Duo’s black jeans. His braid was lying over his chest, dangling down to his knees. Heero watched it swing a little as Duo took a sharp turn. He could also feel the car speed up drastically. Frowning, he turned to gaze out the windshield.

He looked up just in time to see their car leave a large interchange and head straight into a great highway. It didn’t take him long to recognize that they were now driving down the main highway that led out of town.

Heero quickly straightened in his seat. Looking back over his shoulder, behind the passenger seat, he could see the city skyscrapers getting smaller and smaller. They were leaving town!

“Duo,” he called, whirling back to face his lover, “where are you going? Turn the car back.”

Duo’s lips pressed into a thin line as he hit the gas pedal and changed a lane. “You’re not going to the hospital today, Heero.” He said, his tone harsh, beyond argument.

“Duo,” Heero nearly growled, though he was too tired to be angry right now. “This is not funny. Turn the car back.” He thought for a moment and then softly added, “Please.”

“No can do, lover-boy. We’re miles past the exit.”

“Duo!” He called, desperate this time. “Please turn the car back. I have to go to see Nora.”

A sneaky smile crept up Duo’s lips. “Don’t worry, Hee-chan. I told her you wouldn’t be coming today.” He said, looking briefly at his rearview mirror before changing lanes to by-pass a slower car. “She said it was fine with her.”

“But...” Heero began, though he had nothing to say. Defeated, he slumped back into his seat. He sighed and closed his eyes, reaching a hand up to rub his tired eyes. “Where are we going?” He finally asked, surrendering to his fate.

A softer smile graced Duo’s lips this time. He turned to Heero, his eyes asking for a little faith. “You’ll see.” He said. “Trust me on this one.”

So like with anything else, Heero simply accepted. He tilted his head back and settled more comfortably into his chair. He let his mind drift slowly to sleep, trusting Duo to lead him to wherever they were heading.

* * *

He woke up when he felt the car stop and the engine still. Opening his eyes, he blinked the sleep out of them and turned to look around. He pulled himself up to sit properly, and gazed out the front window. His eyes widened when he realized that the car was parked inside a green forest, just ten meters or so from a huge, crystal blue lake. The lake seemed to stretch into forever, the clear water sparkling under the sunlight. There were only green trees surrounding the large lake, not a sign of settlement around.

Heero snapped his mouth close when he realized that he was gaping at the scenery.

Duo chuckled at the sight of Heero’s stunned expression. “We’re here.” He said, carefully stepping out of the car.

Heero was still too shocked to move. He looked around, left and right, gazing out of all the windows. They were deeply into the forest, not even a dirt road trailing behind them. He didn’t even feel the bumpy ride. How the hell did Duo find this place?

He whirled his head back to look out the windshield, and spotted Duo walking away from the car, stretching his arms over his head.

Sighing heavily, Heero also stepped out of the car. There was a crunchy cracking sound when he laid his feet over the dried pine-leaves scattered on the ground. They crackled a small melody as he stood up, leaning against the red car’s door.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the clean air of the forest into his lungs. He nearly forgot how nature smelled like. The air was fresh and crispy, carrying the sweet scent of summer. He could feel the soft rays of the sun tingle his skin, and looked up to see the yellow light filter through a mask of green branches. He watched the wind tousle the heavy leaves, playing with the branches as it skipped from tree to tree.

Looking down, he watched the sun twinkle over the waves in the lake, and the wind caressed the bluish water. The air was filled with songs of birds, the sounds of the forest. It was so quiet. Peaceful. A blessing to ears that were used to the constant hum of the city.

He could feel Duo’s gaze on him, and he could sense that smile of his without even looking. He sighed to himself, and turned to look at his lover. He offered him a small, apologetic smile.

“This is very beautiful, Duo, but... I need to go back.” He said in a small, wavering voice. His eyes shimmered in sorrow, he knew he was hurting his lover, but he felt that he shouldn’t be here. Duo should understand, right?

But his lover only stood in his spot, and turned to face the lake. He was still stretching his arms, folding one arm over his head and then switching hands.

“I’m sorry, Heero, but I’m afraid that we’re gonna be here for a while.”

“Duo, please.” Heero tried again, taking a few steps towards his lover. Duo only continued his exercise, bending his body to the left and then to the right. His back was still facing Heero.

“Sorry, man, but I didn’t drive for three and half hours so you could tell me to make a u-turn and drive back.”

“Then you shouldn’t have brought me here in the first place!” Heero growled, crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at Duo’s back, his anger boiling.

Duo turned around and offered him a big, dazzling, smile. “You’re going to stay here if you like it or not.” he said, shrugging, “Might as well enjoy it.”

Heero rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his lungs, pushing his bangs up. He glared at Duo a second more, before ‘tsking’ loudly and storming back towards the car. “Fine. You can stay. I’m leaving!” He growled, and stomped into the car.

Fuming with anger, he slammed the door behind him and yanked the seatbelt. He reached a hand to turn the switch on, only to find out that there were no car keys. Growling in frustration, he ran a frantic search through the dashboard and glove compartment. He searched above the driver’s seat, inside the car visor, everywhere. Nothing.

Frustrated, he punched the steering wheel and groaned in annoyance. Looking up, he saw Duo sitting over the engine hood, grinning like an idiot and waving the car keys at him.

With a groan, he slammed his head on the steering wheel so hard that he blew the horn. He took a moment to just relax and breathe, composing himself, before he stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Glaring at Duo, he crossed his arms over his chest and came to stand in front of him.

“Fine. You win.” He muttered, his tone accusing. “Now what?”

Duo smiled victoriously and threw an arm over Heero’s shoulder. “Go fetch your gear, lover-boy, cuz we’re going camping!”

* * *

By the end of the day, Heero forgot about ever wishing to leave that place. They strolled the hidden pine trails of the forest together, climbing mountains and exploring valleys. They wallked between green trees and tall canyons. They found a small waterfall at the side of a mountain, which was hidden behind a few cliffs and heavy vegetation. The discovery filled their heart with some great, unknown feeling. They found a place on Earth only the two of them knew about. A special place, beautiful and green, that was theirs only. They kissed passionately by the raging white torrents of the waterfall, the loud furious sound of the rushing water guiding their kiss with an intense rhythm, adding to thier crazed passion.

They made their way back to the lake when the sun no longer filtered so strongly through the trees. They settled down by the lake late in the afternoon and simply lay on the warm sand at its shore. Kicking their shoes off and wiggling their toes against the soft sand, they took a few long minutes to just stare together at the clouds.

At sunset, when the lake was washed with golden colors and stains of pale pink and blue, they sat by the quiet water, and did some fishing. They made a bet about who will catch a bigger fish. Duo lost and therefore he had to go fetch the wood for their campfire.

They set a small camp by the lake, leaving the car behind them in the forest. Duo spread a large sleeping bag, big enough for two, over the soft sand, by the campfire. The two grilled their fish over the fire, and then enjoyed a quiet meal together. They helped themselves to a drink or two, which placed them both a in a cheerful and playful mood.

A while later, Heero found himself lying on his back, sprawled over the sleeping bag, laughing until he was out of air because of Duo’s tickle-attack. His mind was warm from the beer he drank, and his mood was giddy from the entire enjoyable day. Heero soon found himself playing along, tickling back. The two rolled over the sleeping bag like two cubs playing, tickling each other in a mischievous contest.

Heero couldn’t have been more grateful for each little sound of laughter Duo coaxed out of him. He had nearly forgotten how to laugh. It was like that day brought him back to life. He felt energized for the first time in months. His body ached from so much walking and climbing, and yet he couldn’t remember feeling this good for such a long time.

At some point the two of them ended up atop of each other, panting harshly after much effort. They lasted only two seconds, at which they simply panted and looked into each other’s eyes, before launching into a passionate kiss. They rolled over the sleeping bag, enthused by their passion. Their hands moved around frantically, touching the other desperately.

When they finally calmed, they simply lay there, sprawled over the thick sleeping bag. They lay on their backs, close enough to feel the other’s body heat, and gazed up at the stars.

The skies were a pitch, velvet black, sprinkled with thousands of glittering silver dots. The stars twinkled down at their wondering eyes, as if offering a playful wink. Heero imagined that they were trying to encourage him, somehow trying to make him feel better. ‘You deserve it’, one star said with a wink. Heero found it rather odd that the star sounded an awful lot like Nora.

Another pair of stars reminded him of Duo’s eyes, how they sparkled when he laughed. They were smiling at him too, spreading a warm feeling in his heart. They reminded him how much he loved Duo. How he loved him to the very core of his soul.

Smiling to himself, Heero turned to lie on his side so he could face Duo. His braided lover appeared to be deep in though, gazing at the stars. His eyes shone with a serious gleam, almost brooding, amethyst orbs shimmering under the starlight.

Heero draped his arm over Duo’s broad chest, counted a few heartbeats and then leaned to whisper in his ear. “What are you thinking about?”

Duo blinked when Heero’s whisper caressed his ear, as if coming out of a trance. He turned his head to look down at the boy lying by his side, and offered him a warm smile. “Nothing too important.” He said, though his honey-like voice sounded a bit strained. Heero leaned closer to kiss Duo’s soft cheek, and then bowed his head so he could tuck it under Duo’s chin. He let his head rest over Duo’s chest, listening to his breath.

He suddenly realized that there were a lot of dark, slimy demons roaming around Duo’s head. His own demons left him a while ago, and only paid him infrequent visits. When Duo and he spoke about it, lying curled by one another in the darkness of the night, Duo rarely spoke of his own demons. He said that he already dealt with them in the two years after the war. That’s why he went back to space, to clear his head from the cruelty of war.

But maybe it didn’t work. Perhaps those two years were not enough. How could he have dealt with everything all on his own? It was impossible, Heero knew from experience. There were still demons there, he realized. Maybe Duo didn’t see smiling stars when he looked up at the heavens. Maybe all he saw were dead husks of burnt mobile suits that still littered outer space. That thought saddened Heero. He hugged Duo harder, as if trying to wring all of his misery out.

“Gomen, Duo. I’ve been so insensitive.” He whispered, closing his eyes in shame. He shivered when he felt Duo’s warm arm sneak around him, holding him gently.

“Why is that?” Duo whispered softly.

“You never talk,” Heero mumbled, “you always listen but you never talk.”

Duo sighed heavily, turning his gaze back up, watching the dark skies. “You already know everything there is to know about me, Heero. I don’t hide anything from you.”

“You hide your pain,” Heero stated bitterly, “just like Nora did. She hid it so well I could never see it. I was the actual blind man among us.” He blinked away a few tears and whispered, “I don’t want to be blind to your pain.”

He didn’t have the courage to turn his head around and see the look on Duo’s face. To see the disappointment in his eyes. He had just realized how much pain Duo was holding inside him, how hard he worked to hide it. Just like Nora did. Even when she didn’t smile at him, even when her mood was down, he never saw the full extent of her pain. He never knew of the many tears she held behind her blue eyes.

Duo’s eyes were the same. They could show you the glint of a smile, but never the blackness that ate him from the inside. And that blackness was there, he was sure of it. He wanted to chase it away with all the love that he held in his heart. He will not be blind to it any longer. He might have failed Nora, but he will not repeat the same mistake twice.

“You open up to me, and yet there’s so much you hold back from me. Why is that? Why won’t you let me help you? I really think that I can.” He said, turning to face Duo with pleading eyes. The cobalt orbs shimmered in the dark, the glittering tears begging Duo to give him an honest answer. “I love you, Duo. Why can’t I help you?”

He didn’t expect to see a big, heartwarming smile touch Duo’s lips. His lover was looking at him with absolute love and admiration, his violet eyes shining brightly.

“You do help me, Heero.” Duo whispered gently, and leaned down to kiss Heero’s sweet lips. “More than you know.” He turned to look into his eyes, his smile never wavering.

“I don’t need anything but your love. It is more than I could ever ask for. All I have to do is hold you and my pain disappears. I don’t hide anything from you, Heero.” He paused, thinking for a moment before adding, “And even if I do cry, from time to time, it’s all right. I know you’re always there for me when I need you, and that knowledge is enough to help me deal with my pain.”

Heero smiled a little, and Duo offered a small kiss to his nose.

“I might hide little things from you,” he said with a small chuckle, “like that time when I ate that apple pie Nora made for you... and you got all grumpy about it that I didn’t have the heart to tell you...” He snickered and Heero glared. The two laughed together, before Duo continued seriously. He held Heero close to him, looking deeply into his eyes. His voice was full of determination when he spoke.

“You don’t have to worry about being blind to my pain. I will never hide what’s in my heart, Heero. That will be a lie and denying my love for you.” He smiled softly, and reached a hand to caress Heero’s fine hair. He petted his cheek softly, his eyes shining lovingly at his blue-eyed love. “The reason I don’t show my pain to you, is because there is no pain. Not when I’m around you.”

Heero didn’t seem convinced at first, but then he thought of the comfort he got when he was around Duo or Nora. Of the way everything seemed easier, his heart felt lighter, when he was with them. Perhaps Duo felt the same towards him.

Smiling, Heero looked up to meet Duo’s eyes. He pushed himself up a bit so he could kiss Duo, a sweet brush of his lips against Duo’s. They parted, and Heero drew back, his eyes drowning in Duo’s earnest expression.

“Promise me that if it hurts, you’ll tell me about it.” He asked slowly, carefully.

“I promised.” Duo whispered, his voice honest and warm. “And you do the same so we can help each other out, okay? There are some rough times ahead of us, I’m sure you know that, and I don’t want you to think that you must go through this alone.”

Again Heero couldn’t help but smiling. Every word that Duo said wrapped around his heart and left him tingling with warmth. He loved him so much!

“Aa. I promise.” He whispered back, leaning down to hug Duo. The two curled inside the sleeping bag, sinking into a warm, blissful slumber.

* * *

Dawn painted the lake in a mixture of soft colors. Mellow pinks, heavenly cerulean blue, soft yellow and highlights of gold. The morning skies were a grand display of calm colors. A few birds cut through the heavens in an early morning flight. The green forest was silent and still, only now and then a few twittering of birds interrupting the silence. The lake was mirror-still, reflecting the green surrounding and the colorful sky.

The air was chilly and crisp, carrying the sweet scent of summer blossoming. A soft breeze carried the clouds on its wings, helping them make their journey throughout the heavens.

Down by the lake, on its golden shore, the last little sparks of fire burnt within fading cinders. The final signals of smoke ascended from the small campfire, fading into thin air with a silent hiss.

Up in the horizon, behind green mountains and lush treetops, the sun was crawling up lazily. It carefully reached its warm, golden rays to greet the new day with a warm and loving embrace. It wasn’t long before the golden sphere peeked over the trees of the forest, trying to pour the soft light over the lake they protected.

The golden rays finally found their way to the large, double, sleeping bag that lay on the lake’s shore, by the dying campfire. The sun seemed to be glowing brighter, as if happy to find someone out here to caress. It reached its warm rays down and washed over the two boys sleeping curled inside the sleeping bag.

Birds slowly came to life, flying across the lake and hopping from tree to tree. They twittered happily in light of the new day, chanting cheerfully as they spread their wings to fly. The noise didn’t bother Heero, didn’t even make him stir in his sleep, but rather the feeling of sudden chill that attacked him was the one to finally bring him into awareness.

Yawning lazily, he stretching inside the warm sleeping bag, stretching his limbs like a cat. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked the sleep away. Rolling over to lie on his back, he took a few long moments to just gaze up at the colorful sky. It was so beautiful that he couldn’t help smiling. Inhaling the fresh air deeply into his lungs, Heero closed his eyes and indulged in the feeling of nature. This had been the best sleep he had in months. It was probably the most fulfilling, pleasant, enlivening sleep he had in his entire life.

Moaning sleepily, like a lazy boy who refused to wake up for school, Heero snuggled into the warm sleeping bag again, trying to buy a few more moments of sleep. His hands automatically reached up and searched for Duo. His eyes flew wide open again when he finally realized that Duo’s warm body was not where it was supposed to be.

Frowning, Heero sat up and took a look around. He saw a bird flying swiftly out of the forest and bounce over the lake, disturbing the still water. The ripples grew bigger and bigger, and he followed them, until his eyes caught sight of his lover, bathing in the lake.

A warm smile slipped gracefully over Heero’s lips. He shook his head in slight amusement, and crawled out of the sleeping bag. A small chill climbed up his spine when he placed his bare feet over the cool sand. The sand was not too cold, and he quickly got used to it. He made his way down to the shoreline.

He spotted Duo’s clothes thrown carelessly on a rock by the water. The boy’s socks, underwear and shoes were also there. Looking up, his breath was stolen at the sight of his lover.

Duo was standing where the water reached up to his chest, small waves moving around his naked torso. His long chestnut hair was unbound, floating around him in a circle, like a blossoming water lily. The sight filled his heart with warm mush, making him smile goofily. He stood there, watching, as Duo moved about in the water, his long hair trailing gracefully behind him, floating left or right, depending on where Duo went.

He would have stood there for an eternity, if Duo hadn’t noticed him. The longhaired boy noticed that he was being watched, and quickly turned around to face the shore, his hair imitating his every move. His eyes met with Heero’s, and he smiled.

“Heya, lover. Good morning.” He called with a pleasant smile, waving at his boyfriend.

Heero smiled in return. “Ohayou, Duo.” He said, and prepared to take a seat on a nearby rock.

“Hey, Heero, you gotta come in. The water’s great!” Duo said cheerfully, gesturing Heero to join him. “You have GOT to try this skinny-dipping thing!”

Heero frowned, making a sour face. “I don’t think so, Duo. Thank you.”

“Ah, c’mon! I’m telling ya- it’s great! I never felt so free in my LIFE!”

Heero rolled his eyes. “I doubt that.”

“Oh, Heero! C’mon! You know you’re gonna like it!” Duo whined, pouting his lips like a small child. “What, you’re gonna let me swim naked here all by myself? It kinda takes the fun out of it all...”

“I thought you said you’re having the ‘time of your life’.” Heero reminded him, as he already stood up and prepared to take his sweatshirt off. “Then what do you need me for?” He finished with a smirk, throwing his shirt aside.

Duo grinned, his eyes glued to his lover’s muscled torso. “Oh, I need you all right.” He growled playfully, watching Heero as the boy wriggled out of his pants as well. He smiled when Heero was finally standing by the water with only a pair of simple white briefs, looking at the water in hesitation.

“Isn’t it cold?” Heero asked, testing the water with his toe.

Duo shrugged and tilted his head back, dipping his hair deeper into the water. “Nah, you get used to it pretty quickly.”

“You’re joking.” Heero muttered, taking a step back after dipping his right foot into the freezing water. He turned to look up at Duo. “I’m going to freeze my balls off!”

Duo laughed well heartedly, shaking his head in amusement. There was just something very funny about hearing Heero saying something like ‘balls’! It made him giggle like a little kid.

“C’mon, scaredy-cat! I dare you take a dive into the water!” He called teasingly, grinning for all he was worth.

As to be expected, Heero didn’t back off from a challenge. In a matter of seconds, he was drenched from head to toe, standing in front of Duo with Goosebumps all over him and his teeth chattering.

“H-here,” he growled, teeth chattering, “H-hap-p-y?”

Duo laughed and gave him a playful pat on the back. “Couldn’t be happier, lover-boy!” He announced with pride. “Well, unless you take those silly underwear off.”

Heero glared and Duo ignored it. “Hey! They don’t hide much anyway, do they? C’mon! Be a sport!” And he reached a hand underwater to tug at Heero’s waistband.

“Baka.” Heero muttered, emphasizing his words with a playful smack. He then sighed dramatically and took the briefs off as well. He threw them away in the general direction of the shore, probably missing it by a few meters, and then turned back to Duo. The two merely looked at each other, until all of a sudden, Heero smiled.

“What?” Duo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Heero’s smile only spread wider, like melting chocolate. “You were right. This is very releasing.”

“Ha!” Duo gave out a small laugh, which soon turned into a fit of laughter. “See! I told you so!” He said, before launching at his lover and dunking him into the lake. Unfortunately for him, Heero was quick enough to grab him by his forearms and pull him down with him.

The two began a fierce water fight, splashing about in the lake like children, their laughter filling the clear forest air. When the playful mood left them, the two naked boys remained standing in the soft-blue water, simply looking at each other.

Standing before Duo, still panting from their game, Heero ran his eyes over his lover, appreciating the sight before him. Duo was also panting, his chest heaving up and down as clear drops of water caressed his skin on their way down his body. His chestnut hair was floating all around him in a large circle, the edges of the lush strings touching his own skin.

He looked up again and met Duo’s eyes. A moment of embarrassment brushed over both boys as they realized that they had been watching each other like that, noting every little erotic detail. Heero swallowed, and he saw Duo do the same. Underwater, he was beginning to be aroused.

Slowly, carefully, Heero reached a hand down to touch the hair floating around Duo. He took a handful of wet hairs in his palm and ran them between his fingers. They felt rough when they were wet, the lake’s water not doing them justice. He raised his treasure up to his face, pressing the lush hairs to his cheek and inhaling deeply. Closing his eyes, he took in their sweet scent, the same familiar shampoo fragrance he knew so well.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Duo gazing adoringly at him. He smiled sheepishly in return, and carefully placed the handful of hairs back in the water.

Duo reached a hand up to caress his face, brushing his wet bangs aside to reveal his face. He pushed them up over Heero’s head, exposing his lover’s features as if for the first time. Heero smiled at him softly, and when the usual mop of hair that hid his face was absent, Heero’s smile made him glow even more.

Duo leaned forward to capture Heero’s lips in a kiss. The boy’s mouth was warm compared to the cold water that chilled his skin. He tasted sweet, like nature, making Duo hungry for more. He gathered Heero into a tight embrace, pressing their naked bodies together. He smiled against Heero’s mouth when he felt that he was not the only one aroused by this.

They kissed long and deep, pouring their passion into each other’s mouths. When they began grounding their bodies against one another, they decided to leave the chilly water and ran to shore. They collapsed onto their sleeping bag, already kissing and groping each other.

Their passion was intense. Their mouths were hungry to taste, their fingers aching to explore. Unlike their previous sexual encounter, there was burning lust rather than a gentle rhythm. They were hungry for each other, eager to feel the other’s body. Wild heartbeats, harsh panting and frantic limbs portrayed their passion. Their union was almost feral, the intensity of their desire overwhelming.

Duo’s tongue traveled up and down Heero’s body, while his hands touched him everywhere. There wasn’t a part of his skin that was not caressed or kissed. Heero’s body burned with crazed delight, his senses overloaded. When Duo’s hot mouth closed around his aching arousal, he gave out such a scream that the entire forest shook. A few birds rose up to the air in panic.

Heero noticed none of that. All he knew was the overflowing white pleasure washing over him. The wet, moist haven that his cock was thrusting into. His knees buckled as he pushing himself off the sleeping bag and into Duo’s mouth. He was so close to the edge, so close to exploding, but instead of giving into his desire, he raised a shaking hand up and placed it on Duo’s shoulder. Panting harshly, he asked him to stop.

Duo didn’t hesitate. He quickly withdrew, turning a sorrowful pair of eyes towards his lover. “What? What’s wrong, Hee-chan? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked, and immediately came to Heero’s side, lying by him on the sleeping bag. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, looking down at him with anguished eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Still panting, Heero turned to look at Duo, his cobalt eyes shining brightly. He smiled kindly at him. “It’s not that, baka.” He whispered softly, caressing Duo’s damp hair. “I don’t want to come yet. I want to come when you’re inside me.” He said, smiling sheepishly.

Realization dawned on him like a bright light, which shone in his eyes. He gave Heero a sly smile, his anguish forgotten. “I think we can do something about that.” He said, and reached a hand backwards, where their gear lay inside a duffle. He pulled out a barely used lube out of the bag and turned back to Heero.

Heero’s lust-clouded mind didn’t allow him to think about where the lube came from. He wasn’t aware of anything but the hungry feeling in his lower body, his aching, pulsing, need to feel Duo move inside him, filling him like no one else could. He watched eagerly as Duo coated his arousal, his toes wiggling in anticipation as he watched his lover position himself before him. He endured with great impatience as Duo stretched him and prepared him, eager to feel something warmer, bigger and harder than his lover’s fingers. He felt Duo carefully touch his ankle, and leaned his head back against the sleeping bag, closing his eyes tight.

His lover’s warm fingers closed around his ankle, gently guiding his legs up. He placed his them over his shoulders, and then turned back to Heero.

“I love you.” He whispered, positioning himself before Heero’s entrance.

“Love you too.” Heero whispered back, his eyes still closed.

His toes clenched and unclenched as Duo carefully slid inside him. He was holding his breath until he felt he was suffocating, and then gave out a few harsh pants. In a few moments, the pain was gone, and there was only the feeling of warmth inside him. He was whole again.

Smiling gently, Heero opened his eyes and looked up at Duo. He nodded slightly with his head, telling his lover that he was ready for him to move. Duo smiled back, a bit shaky from the pleasure clenching around his arousal, and then slowly drew back. And in again. And out. And in. And out. In. Out. In. Out. And again. And again. And again.

Heero groaned loudly, on the brink of screaming, when Duo finally entered him faster than before, hitting his prostate. From then on there was only one sensation he knew. The world ceased to exist aside for the feeling of Duo moving inside him. In and out. In and out. Harder and harder. Deeper, harder, fiercer... until he could feel the entire length of him.

“Deeper... deeper...” He begged, panting his plea like a mantra. “Ahh... Duo... more... please more... harder... Ah!! Arghh!!! Duo!!!!”

He moaned his lover’s name, over and over, mumbling incoherent ‘I love you’s.

“Oh God... Heero...” Duo breathed through clenched teeth, lost inside his lover’s body. His eyes were closed tight, his wet hair moving up and down, slapping his back, as he thrust in and out of Heero. “Mmm... ahh... argh! ARGH!! OH GOD! HEERO!!!” 

When he felt that he was about to come, he reached a hand and wrapped it around Heero’s erection. He stroked him in time with his thrusting, his rhythm becoming frantic. As he exploded he could hear, somewhere beyond the clouds of passion, Heero calling out his name as well. The two came together, Heero’s seed irrupting out of his cock and over Duo’s hand, as his lover’s warm essence coated his inside.

Their orgasm was so intense, that neither realized that the other came until they descended from their afterglow. Their harsh breathing filled the air as their lust-glazed eyes simply gazed into each other. Duo was still embedded deep inside Heero; his lover’s cum leaking down his forearm. Heero was lying still on his back, his legs over his lover’s shoulders. They remained like that, relishing in the sight of the other’s face washed with sweaty bright afterglow.

Heero smiled up at Duo, a shy little smile, and Duo smiled back. He pulled carefully out of his lover’s tight body, and came to lie by his side. Heero raised the top part of the sleeping bag to cover them both, and the two snuggled together under the warm cover.

This time, it was Duo who placed his head over Heero’s taut chest, pressing his cheek against the sweaty skin. He closed his eyes and inhaled the salty scent into his lungs, a warm smile spreading on his lips. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo, and his longhaired lover did the same. They lay in silence, watching the sun climb out of the horizon, the golden sphere reflecting on the lake.

The silence was broken when a sudden frown darkened Heero’s features. From content, his expression transformed to confusion.

“Duo?” He asked, his voice uncertain.

“Hmm?” Duo mumbled sleepily, feeling warm and content in Heero’s arms.

“How come you had a tube of lube ready?” He popped the innocent question.

Duo’s eyes flew open. He chuckled nervously and rose up so he could look at Heero. “Ah, well, ya know, Hee-chan... you can never be _too_ prepared for a situation...”

“Baka.” Heero stated with a smile, shaking his head. “Kono hentai.” He added playfully, and leaned to kiss Duo a quick kiss. Though Duo didn’t let him get away with just a simple kiss. He quickly pulled Heero close for another passionate, mind-blowing kiss.

When their passion subsided, they returned to simply lying together, listening to nature. Heero rolled over to lie on his side, snuggling against Duo’s warm body.

“I wish we could stay like this forever...” he whispered sadly, and then sighed. “I don’t want tomorrow to come...”

Duo bowed down to kiss the top of Heero’s head. “Then don’t think about it.” He whispered back, hugging Heero tighter. “Pretend that it won’t.”

Sighing heavily once again, Heero pulled closer to Duo and closed his eyes. “Yes...” He mumbled sleepily, slipping into a content slumber. “Lets pretend...”

* * *

“Dammit!” A panicked young man cursed as he raced through a dark alley. His pale blond hair, short and messy, was bouncing around his head. His cropped bangs clung to his sweaty forehead, some poking his eyes. His clear blue eyes were sharp with awareness. They were looking around frantically as he ran, searching for a place of safety. His harsh breathing filled the air, sounding too loud to his own ears.

In his arms, clutched protectively to his chest, was a small child. The little bundle, no more than three years of age, was lying limply in the man’s arms, his tiny legs swinging wildly from side to side. The boy’s head was cradled carefully in the man’s arm, pressed against his broad chest. Blood covered his little face, pouring fluently from a gash in the side of his head. Some of the blood had already clotted around the boy’s dark hair, his long bangs sticking to his bloody forehead. The man held him as steadily as he could, his chest aching with worry with each sharp turn or stumble.

Behind him, just a block away, chaos ruled the streets. A large pillar of dark, thick, smoke rose high in the air, hovering over the ruins of what once was the L1-Cluster Embassy. The tall and fancy building was now a pile of smoke-raising debris. Rescue forces were all around it, the sound of sirens piercing the air. People were screaming, some panicked, some mad and some too shocked to move or say anything.

He could hear nothing but his own breathing, harsh and hot in his lungs. The air was hot and thick, full of dust and smoke. The Colony’s ventilation system was yet unable to cleanse the air. He was suffocating.

Still, he continued to run, the scenery rushing past him in a foggy blur. One building and then another, gray alleyways and dark corners. The shadows were everywhere, watching him. Sweat trickled into his eyes. It mixed his world into a hazy reality that threatened to crush him in its iron grip.

The boy in his arms was like dead weight. He was still breathing, but just barely. His little body felt too heavy in his arms. It was the guilt. It was too heavy to bear. He had no choice but to carry it with him, and keep running.

* * *

Seventeen years later, that same boy, now a young man, was walking down those same streets. He had no recollection of being carried by a terrified young assassin, bleeding to death as he was taken through dark alleys. There was no sign of the fear and confusion that defined those times. He was at ease, walking casually down the main avenue of the colony.

Duo was walking by his side, speaking softly about one thing or another. He smiled at an amusing comment his lover made, his blue eyes sparkling softly under the warm colony light. Everything about him was casual and relaxed. His posture, his smile, the way he walked. Even his clothes, a pair of jeans and a loose white dress shirt, seemed brighter than everything else around him. The air around him glowed with his radiance.

The streets of L1-7283101 reflected his brilliance. The buildings were a glimmering silver, always clean and always glowing. Lush greenery decorated every sidewalk, along with a few fountains that sprouted glittering water. The air was sweet and clean, carrying the unnatural scents of summer. People were walking up and down the shiny streets, strolling the many high-class shopping centers and magnificent parks.

He enjoyed walking among them as a tourist and not an unwelcomed protector. He felt like a new person as he walked casually down the streets, admiring the colony’s beauty and atmosphere. The people were relaxed, pacing along the parks and various avenues. It was a sight to be cherished, considering that four years ago the colonies could even be threatened by a mere little girl who wanted to conquer the world.

“Betchya we look like a couple of lost tourists.” Duo commented with a smile before stopping to have a look around. He scanned the shiny silver streets around them and then turned to Heero with a helpless gesture. “I have NO idea where we are!”

Heero smiled gently at his lover’s performance. “It should be somewhere around here. Look for a map.” He said, his eyes narrowing as he scanned the busy streets. He looked past the malls, the tall office buildings and crowded boulevards. Among the bright neon signs and Plasma screens flashing various commercials his way, he spotted a small sign with a map of the district.

He took Duo’s hand in his and the two walked towards the small sign. Duo was smiling the whole way, his heart melting at the feeling of Heero’s warm hand around his. People were looking at them, and he avoided their gaze. He held Heero’s hand tighter, pretending that he didn’t care. He didn’t care. Of course he didn’t. Fuck them. He didn’t care.

He was so lost in thoughts that he didn’t notice that Heero was done examining the map. Still holding Duo’s hand, Heero turned to him and offered a small smile. “It’s just a block ahead, come on.”

After a few more minutes of walking, the two finally arrived at their destination. The new L1-Cluster Embassy stood tall and proud over the street, its mirror-glass windows gleaming brightly. The grand skyscraper soared up so it nearly kissed the metal casing of the colony. Two armed security guards were standing in the entrance of the lobby. They ran a thorough check on both of them before they entered.

Once inside the large lobby, the two had to stop and admire the sight before them. The entrance hall’s marble floor was glossy to a point it was nearly mirror-like. There was a big lounge with a small bar next to it. Large flowerpots with beautiful greenery decorated every corner. People in business suits, men and women alike, were walking left and right across the lobby, striding in determined steps. There was a soft humming of chatter around the lobby, and once in a while an announcement was made over the speaker system.

“Wow.” Was all Duo could think of saying. Even the Preventer building they once visited did not look this good. He turned to Heero, who was standing like a statue by his side. His features were numb, as if in shock, his eyes staring dully at the foyer. Duo’s heart crumbled a bit with compassion. He reached down to hold Heero’s hand.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, noting in the back of his mind that people were watching again, but he didn’t care.

Heero was silent for a while more. His eyes were glued to the lounge, staring at it until his eyes glazed over. He watched the posh leather armchairs in the lounge, his eyes filling with tears.

“They used to be red...” He mumbled, turning to Duo with a faint, tormented, smile. “I remember.”

His lover offered him a small smile in return, squeezing his hand lightly. “I’m glad.” He whispered softly, and gave Heero’s hand a slight nudge as a sign to follow him. The two walked slowly into the lobby, their hands never separating. Duo could feel the tenseness in Heero’s body and noted his stiff walking. It was hard for him to do this, he knew. He also knew that Heero was strong enough for this. They never would have come here if Heero wasn’t strong enough. And after Nora’s death, Heero became even stronger.

Nora died six months after their little getaway to the lake. Heero and he were by her side until the very end. Her death didn’t come as a big shock, merely a slow and agonizing process of watching her wither away. She died in her sleep, a smile on her face and her fingers curled tightly around Heero’s hand. Just before she fell into a final slumber, they were still talking, and once again their eyes somehow met. She smiled at her son and reached a weak, trembling hand to caress his face. He closed his eyes and let her fingers roam over his features, feeling him one last time. There was something in the air that demanded silence. Something holy and powerful. They knew, somehow, that it was to be her last night on Earth. She will be leaving them soon, joining her husband, Heero’s father, in the afterlife. If there was such a thing.

It was all done silently, calmly. Nora’s passing and Heero’s grief were both coated with a sort of pleasant, painless, silence. It was thick and warm, warping itself around Heero’s heart. In the silence of grieving, Heero secretly wished that the pleasant warmth that filled his heart was his mother’s spirit. He was certain that she was keeping her promise of loving him always, of being with him forever. Perhaps with her essence wrapped around his heart, coating him with warm, quiet love, he could find the strength to go on. In fact, he was sure of it.

It was that feeling around his heart that helped him take the first steps into he lobby, and it was that same warm and loving sprit that guided him into the furthest corner of the lobby. There, behind three large plants and a vending machine, stood a small memorial corner. There was a dark-blue marble monument which read:

In memory of those who perished in the

**terrible act of terror against**

**the L1 Embassy,**

**November 9th,**

**AC 183.**

**They Shall Be Remembered.**

**Always.**  
  
---  
  
Bellow, were the names of the deceased. There were at least a two hundred names, if not more. The golden letters were craved into the dark blue marble, spelling out the names of those who were gone.

**Mark O'Keefe,**

**AC 149 – AC 183**

**John Debney,**

**AC 128 – AC 183**

**Linda DeScenndl,**

**AC 155 – AC 183**

**Gary Barber,**

**AC 142 – AC 183**

**Michael Bostick,**

**AC 138 – AC 183**

**Roger Birnbaum,**

**AC 135 – AC 183**

**Junie Lowry,**

**AC 158 – AC 183**  
  
---  
  
The list went on and on. Heero let his fingers wander slowly over the carved names, his fingers brushing over the cool marble until it stopped by a pair of names.

**Hayashi Ishikawa,**

**AC 156 – AC 183**

**Hikari Ishikawa,**

**AC 180 – AC 183**  
  
---  
  
Heero swallowed, hard. His fingers froze in place, pressed against the name of the infant he once was. It was hard to breathe all of sudden. His fingers trembled as he reached to touch his father’s name once again. A painful lump of air caught in his throat when his fingertips made contact with the cool marble. His cobalt eyes filled with tears as his mind did the math.

“He was only twenty seven when he died...” Heero whispered, his voice shaking. He felt the hot tears rise up his throat, but the feeling of Duo’s warm hand on his shoulder managed to calm him. He sniffled and turned to face his lover. There was a sad, forlorn, look in his eyes when he spoke.

“I can hardly remember him.”

Duo’s features were serious and grave, reflecting the gravity of the situation. He nodded slowly in understanding, his violet eyes glimmering with barely contained tears. “I know.” He whispered, his voice weak and nearly faltering.

He leaned his head on Heero’s shoulder, pressing his cheek to the hand he was still resting on Heero. He sighed deeply and just stood there with his lover, watching the monument silently. His eyes did not leave the carved name of Hikari Ishikawa. He felt an urge to gather Heero into his arms and pull him deeply into him, but instead he remained standing silently, offering as much comfort as he could. With his head resting on Heero’s shoulder, he could feel the slight trembling running through the young man.

“Do you think we should ask them to remove your name?” Duo finally broke the silence, slowly pulling away from Heero.

With his gaze still fixed on the blue marble, Heero thoughtfully shook his head. “No.” he said, turning to face Duo. His features were solemn, but his eyes shone brightly. “Hikari died a long time ago. What he-- what Icould have been died along with that name. I’m Heero now, and that’s who I’ll always be.” He finished with a small smile, shrugging helplessly as he turned back to the monument. He reached a hand back to caress the two names, his smile growing just a slight bit.

“I think that this is what Nora would have wanted me to do.” He added, feeling the cool stone one last time before parting from it.

“I think you’re right.” Duo said, nodding his head in agreement. He turned to look around the small memorial corner, noting the few garlands of colorful flowers lying on a large marble counter attached to the wall. There were many candles among the flowers, as well as framed pictures of the faceless names on the monument. He took a step closer, his eyes narrowing as he scanned the photographs scattered along the shiny marble.

“Heero, look.” He said, walking quickly towards the counter. He swept a farmed photo off the shiny surface, and brought it up to his face. He felt Heero come to stand by him, the warmth of his body tickling his side. He turned to his lover, offering him the picture. “It’s him.” He said, his words carrying so much weight that they could barely cross the distance from his lips to Heero.

Heero reached for the picture, his fingers slightly trembling. He took the polished wooden frame from his lover and turned to look at the photograph. He smiled. Hayashi Ishikawa was everything Nora told him about. This picture matched the thousand words Nora used to describe his father. A young, handsome, optimistic young man who worked hard for what he believed in. Looking at the picture, Heero couldn’t help but smiling. He was flooded with warm memories and feelings. He remembered that hair. That messy, thick black hair. Just like his own hair, it was untamable. He remembered playing with it. It annoyed his father at times, but he always smiled at him, always.

“You really do look like him.” Duo commented as he leaned to look closer at the picture.

Heero smiled in response. “Hai,” he whispered, “Just like Nora said.” She knew. His mother knew what he looked like. It was comforting in a way; she was never blind to him. She always saw him inside out, just like a mother should.

“Man, look at his eyes.” Duo added in wonder, leaning even closer to the photograph. The man in the picture was wearing a pair of fashionable glasses, but behind them was a pair of expressional, piercing, brownish-green eyes.

“They’re green.” Duo finally concluded, rising back up. He turned to Heero with a wicked smile. “Ain’t that weird? I mean, he looks Japanese and all...”

Heero turned to look at the picture and then shrugged the matter as unimportant. He flipped the framed picture over to look at the back. “Do you suppose Nora put it here?” He asked, examining the back for any kind of inscription.

“I don’t think so,” Duo answered, “there was a burning candle next to it. Who will bother lighting a candle after all this time?”

Heero didn’t answer and carefully placed the picture back on the marble surface. He remained standing in his spot, gazing sadly at the photograph. Duo turned to look at him, noting his lover’s thoughtful face. He was gazing deeply into the photograph, as if he was drowning in it.

Duo watched him silently as he slowly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in an attempt to stop the heavy feelings that flooded him. It was then that Duo decided that it would be good to give Heero a few moments by himself.

Forcing on a small, compassionate smile, he placed a gentle hand on Heero’s shoulder. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna look for the bathroom, okay? I’ll meet you back at the lounge.” He said, and slowly walked away.

But he didn’t bother to search for the men’s room. Instead, he made his way straight to the reception desk at the other side of the lobby. He had been waiting for this opportunity ever since Heero and he reached L1 two days ago. They never separated for even a moment, so he did not have time to do this. He promised Nora that he would. He had also promised that he would do it without Heero’s knowing. He didn’t understand why she didn’t want her son to know about it. Perhaps she was afraid that he would refuse.

He didn’t try to convince the dying woman to reconsider her request. Nora was already towards the finale stages of the disease when she called him in the middle of the night, asking him to come to the hospital alone. Heero was so exhausted from the entire ordeal of taking care of his mother that he didn’t even wake up. He left Heero asleep in their bed and rushed to the hospital. That was when Nora made her finale request from him. She made him promise to keep it, no matter what. With shaking hands and a faltering smile, she handed him a small white envelope.

“The L1 Embassy,” she had whispered weakly, “They will be able to help you.”

And that was that. His promise was made. Walking towards the reception desk, Duo pulled that same white envelope out of his inner jacket and waited in line.

A young blond secretary was talking on the phone while typing something on her computer. She gave Duo an acknowledging nod and he smiled in return. He waited for her to finish what she was doing, tapping his fingers on the counter while he took a look around the large lobby. When the young woman finished her business, she turned to him with a smile.

“Sorry about that. What can I do for you, sir?”

Duo turned back to her, putting on his most charming smile. “Well, uh,” he looked down at her nametag, then back at her, “Sandra, I was wondering if you could help me find someone.” He said, his tone smooth and confident.

The young blond smiled at the handsome young man before her. “Of course, sir.” She said and turned to her computer. Typing something quickly, she asked: “Do you know on which floor he works?”

Duo smiled in apology and shook his head. “No, I don’t believe he works here. But I was hoping you can help me find him.”

The woman frowned, and turned to him again. She could refuse, it was not her job to help with such a request, but she found the man’s charm irresistible. “Well, do you have his name?”

Smiling in gratitude, the braided young man nodded and opened the envelope in his hand. “Thanks.” He said, looking down at Nora’s neat handwriting. He gave the young woman the information he had and waited patiently as she sought out the name in the L1 database. A few minutes later he was sitting in the lounge, waiting for Heero to return. His lover appeared soon after that, seeking him in the crowd. When their eyes met Heero smiled and motioned Duo to come. They left the building hand in hand.

* * *

The rest of the day they spent touring the colony. After their visit to the L1 Embassy they made their way to the famous L1 Space Museum, which Duo found rather boring being that he was not that interested in the life-long story of the space pioneers. What he did enjoy was their little make-out session during the ‘How the Universe Came To Be’ holographic-movie. Being bored with the movie, he had reached a hand down Heero’s pants, making the young man squeal during the Big Bang!. That turned a few heads their way, and gave him quite a laugh. Heero did not find it funny though, so Duo had to make it up to him with a kiss, which lasted for the entire twenty minutes of the movie.

From the darkness of the Space Museum, the pair made their way back to the light flooded streets. Their next stop was at the small Nature Reserve in the center of the colony. L1-7283101 was one of the few colonies that could afford maintaining a small piece of nature. A wide blue canal divided the colony to two halves, flowing right through the center of the lush space settlement. It split the city-center right in the middle, and also bordered by the small nature reservation. A small forest and large planes of grass spread alongside the water canal, red gravel roads and picnic areas all around it.

They strolled the gravel roads and paid a visit to the small zoo. They ate ice cream cones by the canal, dipping their feet in the cool water. Later on the two lay under a lush tree and let a lazy hour crawl by. They simply lay on the soft grass, Heero leaning on the tree while embracing Duo, as the two spoke about soft nothings to each other.

The early afternoon hours found the two walking down the main avenue of the colony, exhausted after a long trip inside an enormous shopping center. Tired and hungry, the couple chose a nice café by the water canal. It had a great white porch with little white tables; build with decorated iron patterns, all of them facing the artificial river. A nice young waitress served them a glass of water with lemon and mint, smiling at the two as she told them about today’s specials. The atmosphere was calm as they sat and ate, the sweet scent of foliage engulfing them.

Taking a forkful of salad, Heero smiled and looked up at Duo. The braided young man was sitting casually in front of him, the white light of the colony making his chestnut hair gleam. He was speaking enthusiastically, only stopping to have a sip from his ice tea before returning to what he had been saying.

“All I’m saying is- why charge so much for a freaking jacket, yanno? On L2 I could get it for you in half a price! Heck, even less! Seriously. Rich people pay too damn much for nothing. Like, they can afford it so they don’t care. That’s such a fucked up way of thinking. They’d be even richer if they did their shopping on L2. Heck, I think that flying there would cost less than that jacket, right?”

Heero smiled and shrugged lightly. He was amused by Duo’s enthusiasm for such a trivial manner. During their shopping trip, Duo saw a jacket in the mall he really liked, but they could not afford it. Now he ranted about the injustice of it all.

“Capitalism sucks, man.” Duo finished with a mutter, taking a long sip from his ice tea.

Heero rolled his eyes and speared a red cherry tomato with his fork. “It has its qualities.”

Duo snorted. “We’re not getting into a debate now, are we? I’m just saying that I REALLY wanted that jacket! Man, it was so cool!”

“Duo, you sound like a ten year old.” Heero commented with a light smirk, taking another bite from his salad. His eyes sparkled as he watched his lover rant on about one thing or another. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy listening to him, it was just that he was too mesmerized by the sight of his lips moving, that his ears became deaf to all sound.

He knew his lover’s body like it was his own, but every once in a while he would discover something new. Like how Duo’s lips twitched up in a half a smile while he was ranting about something that annoyed him. Or how his bottom lip pouted adorably when he frowned. Or how a little bit of gravy gathered at the corner of his mouth while he spoke about a leather jacket he couldn’t afford.

Smiling to himself, Heero leaned forward and reach a finger towards Duo’s face. He swept the gravy off the corner of Duo’s mouth, surprising him in mid-sentence.

Duo blinked, quite baffled, and watched his lover lean back into his chair in satisfaction. He kept staring at Heero as the young Japanese man put his finger in his mouth and sucked the gravy off it in one, swift motion. He wasn’t trying to be seductive, but he couldn’t help but feel a little sexy with Duo’s wide eyes watching him. Hiding a pleased smile, he returned to eating his salad.

Duo was still gaping. A few girls giggled, and he blinked, as if coming awake. He turned to look over his shoulder, noting the two high school girls watching them. He turned back to Heero, who was acting like nothing had happened.

He smile, his heart turning into mushy goo.

“You were saying?” Heero asked, reaching for his glass of lemonade while trying to hide an amused smile.

“Oh, I, uh, forgot.” Duo mumbled, feeling a light blush rising to his cheek. The girls behind them chuckled again, and Duo’s blush changed into a deeper shade. He hurried to gulp the rest of his ice tea.

“Perhaps we’ll find a similar jacket back on Earth.” Heero suggested, speaking as if he didn’t notice what had just transpired. Maybe it was because he didn’t care, Duo mused. And neither should he. Why should he be ashamed of such an endearing act? Why should he deny himself of enjoying these little gestures that made his heart dance and melt at the same time?

Heero didn’t care about what other people thought. When he felt something, he felt it with all his heart. When he loved someone, he loved him deeply, to the very core of his soul. He was honest with his emotions. That’s why he loved Heero so much. He never knew someone who held so much emotion in his heart. It was like a great sphere of pure white light, all contained within a young, wounded and scarred heart. A hard, rough crust of ugly scars covered Heero’s heart, but it held so much love and feeling inside it, like an infinite mound of heavenly light. There was so much of that light, so strong and untainted, that it reached past the cracks of that scarred crust and shone to the outside. It was that inner glow that made Heero so beautiful and alluring. It was the greatest reward to anyone who loved him. Nora had the chance to be basked in Heero’s light, and he was thankful for every second he spent under that same divine aura.

It was the little things, like gravy at the edges of his mouth, that made him realize this again and again. Seeing Heero’s light glow so brightly made him realize how much the young man had changed. Since Nora’s death, Heero came to accept his life, accept the hardship of his past and begin to think of a hopeful future. The visit to this colony was the last stop in Heero’s long journey. It was the last patch that his wounded heart needed. From now on he will make sure to compensate Heero for every scar, for every wound on his loving heart. They will smooth those scars together, the way the always have and always will do.

“Duo? Daijoubu?” Heero asked, his eyes narrowing a little in concern. “Did I embarrass you?” He inquired, looking left and right at the people sitting around them. He turned back to Duo, his expression almost wounded.

Duo saw the apology that was about to come out of Heero’s mouth, and he hurried to smile broadly at him. “Are you kidding me?!” he laughed, “Ya just took me by surprise, that’s all!”

Heero smiled back at him, unsure. “You just seemed thoughtful for a second.”

A warm smile graced Duo’s lips, his violet eyes sparkling adoringly. “Nah, I was just thinking how much I love you.” He frowned at his own words. “Damn, that sounded corny! But I did! I mean I was. I was thinking about you.” Again that shy blush on his cheeks. He didn’t care if those two high school girls were listening. He leaned forward and took Heero’s hands in his.

Smiling at those shining cobalt eyes he whispered: “I love you so much, Hee-chan.” A cocky smile pulled at his lips as he added: “and you can lick my gravy anytime...” He finished seductively and threw in a playful wink.

Heero snorted a soft ‘baka’ at him and shook his head. “You are hopeless.” He reprimanded his lover, taking a long sip of his lemonade to hide the rosy color Duo raised on his cheeks. Duo laughed lightly, leaning back in his chair while feeling very pleased with himself.

He raised a questioning eyebrow when Heero placed his glass down and then rose to his feet. Heero gave him a small smile and mouthed ‘bathroom’.

Duo smiled back and nodded his goodbye. He watched Heero walk into the café and then sighed thoughtfully. He leaned deeply into his chair, swinging slightly back and forth. He stirred his ice tea with a straw, gazing at it broodingly. After a few long moments of thinking, he got up and walked towards a near pay phone. Pulling the white envelope out of his pocket, he looked down at the number scribbled over it and dialed.

He kept sending nervous glances at the café’s entrance, hoping that Heero will take long enough for him to make the call. Listening to the dial tone, he watched the doors anxiously, his foot tapping on the floor. After a few rings, he was finally answered.

“Hello?” A man answered calmly.

Duo straightened in his spot, feeling a sudden urge to act formal. His heart was beating too fast. “Yes, uhm, Hello...”

* * *

When Heero returned from the washroom Duo was already seated by the table, stirring his empty cup of tea. Heero slowly settled back into his chair.

“Sorry I took so long, there was a line.” He apologized, noting that his lover seemed rather bored.

Duo looked up at him over his empty ice tea and offered a kind smile. “No problem.” He said, a strange, unknown gleam in his eyes. Heero noted that gleam, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it meant. He decided that if something was wrong then Duo would tell him about it. They gave each other space with such matters, trusting one another to open up when the time was right. Neither of them was pushy about such matters. If Duo didn’t want to speak about a nightmare, Heero didn’t press the matters further, and visa versa. It made their relationship more comfortable. If they couldn’t bring themselves to speak about aching matters, at least they had the comfort of knowing that they were understood.

“Where would you like to go next?” Duo asked, his cheerfulness slowly recovering.

While gesturing at the waitress to bring them their bill, Heero replied quietly. “I’d like to go back to the hotel. I need to make some phone calls, make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow.”

“Did you get a call from the funeral home?” Duo asked, his eyes following the young waitress as she approached with the check and two complementary cups of coffee and cake.

Heero pulled out his wallet, briefly musing how come he was speaking so casually about this matter.

“They called the lobby early this morning. They left a message that the coffin had arrived around midnight.”

Duo nodded, his expression grave. “That’s good.” He said, watching Heero sign a check. His hand moved swiftly and gracefully over the paper, scribbling his signature with his neat and stylish handwriting.

“I want to go the funeral home early tomorrow, to have a look at the coffin before the funeral.” Heero said as he pulled a five-dollar bill and placed it along with the check. He looked up at Duo, his cobalt eyes gleaming seriously. “I need to know that she made it out okay.”

Duo nodded in understanding. “Sure. We can go have a look at it now, if you want.”

Heero shook his head and the two got up. “No, I’d rather not.” He said slowly, picking up a couple of shopping bags, which lay by his chair. “I would rather have it done in one swift blow...” He explained with a weak smile, looking at Duo with eyes that searched for understanding. As usual, he got just that from his lover, who offered him a smile and a sympathetic nod in return.

“I hear ya, man.” Duo said, picking up another pair of trendy paper bags. The two made their way out of the restaurant, carrying their load. At the steps leading out of the porch and into the street, Duo stopped and looked down at their packages. He turned to Heero, laughing lightly.

“You think we over did it with the shopping?”

“Well, it was you who said we need a change of wardrobe...” Heero reminded him as he continued to walk. Duo hurried to follow him as a terrible thought struck him.

“Oh man! Now that I think of it we could have gotten this stuff a whole lot cheaper on L2...”

* * *

They returned to their hotel straight after lunch. The L1 Colonial Plaza was a luxurious hotel, which was surprisingly affordable now that the colonies were trying to encourage space-tourism. Their suite was modest, but it held all they could ever wish for. There was a comfortable king sized bed, a rich mini bar, a large screen TV, a soft sofa for two and even a Jacuzzi. The room was well decorated, with a dark red wall-to-wall carpet, fashionable furniture, a fireplace and classy wallpapers. There was a glass door, currently hidden behind a thick red curtain, which led to a balcony. By the door was a miniature wooden table with an ancient-looking phone on it and a small cushioned chair standing by it.

Duo came out of the steaming shower room, wearing a white bathrobe while drying his long hair with the hotel’s towel. He saw his lover sitting on the chair by the phone, speaking quietly into the receiver. There was soft music playing from the television, images of nature slowly changing on the screen. The room was dimly lit, flooded with mellow warm light and soft shadows. Heero’s murmurs into the phone blended with the New Age music coming from the television, all in all creating a calm, relaxing, atmosphere.

With a pleasant sigh Duo flopped down on the bed, his body bouncing softly on the mattress before sinking deeply into it. His wet hair spread like an open fan over the bed, while his bare feet hung lazily in the air, sticking out of the mattress. He spread his arms like an eagle, enjoying the sheer size of the bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, indulging in the pleasant moment. He listened to Heero speaking on the phone, letting his mind wander into a hazy, jelly-like, state.

“I’ve signed the papers down at the municipality this morning. The clerk said that there would be no more problems with removing the grave.” Heero said, his voice calm though he sounded like he was trying to convince someone into something he would not do.

“I understand that these things take time, sir, but I’ve made the arrangements three weeks in advance. It was hard as it is to purchase a burial ground on this colony, please don’t make this any harder. I beg you, sir, I need that burial ground tomorrow. It was already arranged.”

Duo sighed at his lover’s aching tone. Heero had worked so hard to purchase the right to bury his mother on L1. Usually colonist were given a space-burial, sending their coffins into deep space because there was simply not enough room to bury the dead on the colony itself. It was a waste of precious space. Only those who could afford it were buried at their home colonies. Heero’s father was one of these people; at the time Nora had enough money to arrange his burial. She did the same for their son, burying him by his father’s side.

Only there was no one to bury, the coffin was empty for all was found of Hikari Ishikawa were his shoes and a broken toy. There was no need for a tombstone that bore his name. Hikari was alive, he was Heero now. And all Heero wanted was to use the precious space his unnecessary grave took and use it so he could bury his mother by his father’s side. He didn’t want to see his mother’s coffin sent into the darkness of space. He didn’t want to lose her again to the unknown. He wanted a grave to visit, and he wanted her to be back with her husband, the man she had loved all her life.

But it seemed that the L1 authorities did not understand such a simple heart’s wish. While they agreed to allow Nora to be buried instead of her thought-to-be-dead son, they did not bother to make the arrangements in advance. The funeral was due tomorrow, and Hikari’s grave was yet to be removed.

“But I am telling you that the grave is EMPTY!” Heero nearly shouted into the phone, his tone getting desperate. Duo flinched at the mere sound of it. He opened his eyes, gazing blindly at the ceiling as he listened to his lover struggle with the dense authority.

“I know this because _I_ am the person who’s supposed to be lying in that grave!” Duo flinched at that sentence, closing his eyes in pain. He wished that Heero wouldn’t have to speak like that, but it seemed that there was no other choice. His lover worked even harder to prove to the world that he was not dead. It was ironic in a way. Five to six years ago all he cared about was ending his life, and now he was struggling to prove that he was alive and breathing. It was funny how things changed.

“I’ve already sent you all the proof you need, you’ve settled this matter over a month ago!” Heero continued, his voice close to threatening. “It is not my fault that Governor Chaplin is on vacation. Check his records, he’s heard all about me. I’ve spoken with him but a week ago. Please, I’m running out of time. The funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Can’t you arrange that something will be done by then?”

Duo held his breath, crossing his fingers as the silence stretched on. His eyes were closed tight as he wished with all his might that for once Lady Luck would be on their side.

After a few tense moments he heard Heero sigh in relief.

“Thank you,” he breathed into the phone, a small smile of relief gracing his lips. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.” He repeated and then said his goodbye. Putting the receiver back in place, he collapsed into the back of the chair and took a moment to just breathe.

Duo pushed himself up to a sitting position and gazed at his lover. “So the jerk succumbed?” He asked with a playful tone.

Heero, who was currently sprawled like a puddle of goo over the chair, managed a slight nod. “After a sufficient amount of pleading, yes.”

Duo chuckled. “I never thought I’d see the day when Heero Yuy will plead instead of glare... well, outside of bed, I mean.”

Heero’s hand somehow managed to find a pillow from a nearby sofa and he threw it at Duo’s face. “Baka.” He muttered, shaking his head tiredly. He threw a limp arm over his eyes, hiding from the dim light of the room.

“Hmm... that’s the third ‘baka’ I’ve gotten today... I’m on a roll...” Duo pointed out, throwing the pillow back at his lover. He slowly got off the comfortable bed and made his way to Heero. He stopped to open the curtain on the way, revealing a magnificent view of the colony lights sparkling below. The traffic was alert as always, the red and yellow of various vehicles painting the roads like a river of light. The L1 skyscrapers offered a random display of office lights, while the malls and entertainment districts shone in a more colorful display of neon illumination.

Duo took a stand behind Heero’s chair and rubbed his shoulders gently, massaging his tense muscles. “Why won’t you take a nice long shower?” he suggested with a warm whisper, rubbing his fingers against Heero’s warm flesh. “You can even use the Jacuzzi... it will help you relax.”

Heero sighed, opening his eyes, which were still hidden under his arm. “All I really want is a nice long sleep... I’m exhausted.” He mumbled, his voice sleepy.

Duo continued his massage silently, simply enjoying the feel of Heero’s skin under his fingers. When a considerable amount of time went by, he stopped, looking down at Heero in question.

“Hey, lover-boy, you sleeping?”

Still hidden behind his limp arm, Heero slurred a small “Uh huh...”

Duo smiled in compassion. “Want me to help you to bed?”

“Mum hmm...” Heero muttered incoherently, feeling too heavy to move or talk. When Duo finally helped him to his feet, he stretched and yawned before turning to Duo with thankful eyes.

“I think I better shower first... it’s been a long day.” He said, smiling tiredly.

Duo nodded and tapped on his shoulder. “Sure, no problem. I’ll wait in bed with a goodnight kiss just for you.” He added with a loving smile, guiding his lover to the bathroom.

“Thanks.” Heero said as they stopped at the door. He turned to Duo and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “See you then.” He said and then entered the shower. Duo waited a few more seconds by the door, watching it thoughtfully, before he made his way to the phone. He settled in the chair with a heavy sigh and picked up the phone. After dialing, he waiting for the operator in the lobby to answer.

“L1 Colonial Plaza Switchboard.” A woman’s voice soon replied.

“Hello,” He mumbled, straightening in his seat. “I need to make a long distance call to Earth please.” He took a deep breath to calm himself. His heart was racing like it did back at the café when he made the first call. That phone call was relatively easy. Now was the hard part. Nora told him that it will be hard, but he promised to not only do his best, but also to succeed. She trusted him, and he was not going to fail her.

* * *

Neither of them got much sleep that night. They lay in bed, holding each other while watching the night crawl by. Heero lay on his back; one hand under his head while his other arm was wrapped around his lover in a gentle embrace. Duo was lying close to him, skin pressed to skin, his head resting on Heero’s naked chest. His hand lay limply over Heero’s stomach, just lying there, feeling the heat of his lover’s flesh. Both their eyes were open, shining in the dark.

The balcony curtains were still open and both stared numbly at the view. An eerie neon glow washed the city below, L1’s skyscrapers glimmering with the midnight illumination. The main roads were still busy with traffic; the silent hiss of cars flowing down the asphalt was like a silent lullaby to the L1 nighttime. The large water canal that split the colony to two seemed like a long black snake tearing through the forest of skyscrapers. A few ships were sailing down the canal, their fancy lights reflecting off the black water. A large amusement park was sparkling in a colorful display of lights, which reflected on the water. A Ferris wheel, glowing with all the colors of the rainbow, spun lazily as it towered over the canal.

Duo watched the giant wheel’s movement with tired, aching, eyes. He exhaled a small sigh and closed his eyes, wishing for sleep to come. He concentrated on the slow movement of Heero’s chest, heaving gently up and down as he breathed. A small smile pulled at his lips at the feeling of Heero’s soft fingertips brush casually over the small of his naked back. Pleasant shivers tickled him under his skin as Heero continued to caress him absentmindedly.

Heero lay still, listening to his lover’s breathing while his hand offered small caressed to the soft, warm, skin of his lower back. He felt Duo’s body slowly relax under his soft ministrations as his breathing slowly evened out. In a matter of minutes, Duo was asleep, lying heavily against his chest. He didn’t mind. That weight comforted him in ways he couldn’t begin to explain. He held Duo close, his fingers moving down to brush against the soft rope of hair that lay sprawled over the mattress. He ran the soft strands between his fingertips, his still cobalt eyes watching the scenery shown from the small terrace.

He could feel Duo twitch in his arms, his limbs jerking slightly in his sleeps. He was dreaming, possibly a nightmare. A soft moan escaped Duo’s lips and Heero held him tighter in response. The twitching ended fairly quickly and Duo sunk deeply against Heero’s warm torso. He nuzzled his head against the warm skin, as if trying to settle more comfortably into it. Chestnut strands tickled Heero’s chest, raising a small smile on his lips. He lay motionless, looking down at his lover. It seemed like the nightmare was over, it was probably not that bad if Duo was still sleeping. Some nights, he would wake up screaming, but those cases were becoming rare.

He expected that his mother’s death would give his own nightmares a reason to return, but that didn’t happen. It’s been two weeks since she died and his only response was light insomnia. He did dream of her, small and precious memories flooding his mind while he was asleep. It was funny what he remembered. Such small, seemingly insignificant things. The way her hands felt against his, covered with baking flower while she guided his hands over the doe. The way she always got baking powder into her long hair while they worked in the kitchen. Her smile. That wide, careful smile on her delicate lips. It was such a fragile smile, threatening to collapse at any moment, but the sight of it was truly incredible. When she smiled, it even reached her dead eyes. He remembered one time, when he took her to a concert and that smile spread so widely on her lips, her eyes tearful at the sound of the magical melody being played. He remembered what she had whispered so emotionally. “I can see the music,” she said. He remembered the happiness he felt at making her happy.

The little things. There were so many little things to remember. He will miss them dearly. The feeling of her hand stroking his hair. The sound of her laughter. The taste of the cakes only she could bake. The smell of her shampoo and the way the light touched her long, flowing brown hair. She was a beautiful woman, both inside and outside. He missed her so much. He didn’t know if he could handle seeing her lying in a coffin, pale and frozen in death. He asked the funeral home to dress her in her blue dress, the one he remembered from his childhood and the one she liked to wear when Duo and he came over for dinner. They kept her coffin in a special refrigerator until the funeral arrangements will be completed. He didn’t see her since she had died at the hospital, and now he was going to see her again. Dead.

He was a little appalled by an open-coffin funeral. He did not like the idea of seeing someone dead lying in a cushioned coffin, wearing their best clothes and make up. It seemed like a bizarre Christian tradition to him, but he could understand the deeper meaning of it. It was some sort of closure. The human mind was always delusional when it came to death. There was always that stupid bud of hope blossoming somewhere, those little wishes a person made, wishing that his loved one was not dead. Wishing that it was a mistake, a misunderstanding between he and the higher powers that be. There were always these little deals, the hollow promises. ‘I’ll go to church every Sunday’, ‘I won’t steal ever again’, ‘I won’t this’ and ‘I will do that’. False promises. Empty pledges a person was willing to make if only someone will bring back his loved one. There was no end to those wishes and promises unless there was cold, hard, proof of that loved one being gone. Closure. An open coffin was closure. It helped people face the truth, and that was why he was going to look into that coffin tomorrow. To make sure. To let his mind rest. To bid his mother a final, painful, goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, Heero moved to lie on his side, maneuvering Duo so he will lie down with him. The longhaired man opened half an eye, looking sleepily at Heero before curling deeply into the covers and diving back into slumber. Heero watched him for a few moments; his eyes lingering to the sight of Duo’s bangs as they lay sprawled across his face, obscuring his eyes. With a heavy sigh, he finally closed his eyes and buried his head into the pillow, wishing tomorrow will never come.

* * *

The visit to the funeral home was short. Heero signed whatever papers they presented to him, thanked a man or two for taking care of his mother’s coffin throughout the flight from Earth and then went into the main hall to see her. Duo was by his side the whole time, holding his hand tightly.

She seemed peaceful enough, her face serene in sleep. An eternal sleep, Heero had to remind himself. He reached a hand into the coffin and touched her carefully, afraid that she will crumble in front of him. The dead body did not disgust him. He had seen enough of those, and besides, she was his mother. He let his fingertips brush gently down her cheek, and then caressed her stiff hands, which were lying over her stomach. Tears filled his eyes, and he sniffled. Still, there was a small, sad and helpless smile on his lips. Closure. He had it now. Maybe now he will be able to sleep peacefully at night.

He could feel Duo’s warm hand come to rest against his shoulder. He turned to look at his lover, who was standing very close to him, and they both smiled forlornly as their eyes met.

“I wish she still had her hair.” Heero whispered, his voice wet with tears.

Duo nodded slowly in understanding. He turned to watch Nora’s body, lying still in the coffin. There was an elegant blue hat around her baldhead. His eyes lingered to her pretty face before he blinked away a few tears.

“She is still beautiful.” He whispered hoarsely, turning to Heero with a weak smile. “Like mother like son, right?” He tried to sound cheerful as he made the joke, but his voice was too heavy. Still, Heero offered him an appreciating smile.

“Let her sleep.” He said, and moved away from Duo. He reached two hands to the coffin’s lid and with a final glance at his deceased mother, he closed the coffin. For a few long moments, he just stood there, his hands lying on the polished wooden coffin. It was hard to let it go.

A boundless amount of tears suddenly flooded his eyes, hot, thick and stinging. He closed his eyes as his hands trembled over the coffin. His shoulders began to slightly shudder as the sobs crawled up his throat. He didn’t cry loudly at the hospital when she died. Every tear he’d shed so far was silent as it slid down his face. He didn’t want to cry; he didn’t think that Nora would have wanted him to. So he struggled, fought the tears with all he had, which wasn’t much. Suddenly the injustice of it all occurred to him. He had regained and lost his mother in one short year. It was a painful blow to his heart, and his sobs resonated the anguish it stirred inside him.

Warm arms wrapped around him, gently, carefully pulling him into an embrace. He let his head sink into Duo’s shoulder, his back shaking but no sobs breaching past his lips. His tears soaked Duo’s black shirt as he cried, the two lovers standing by the closed coffin.

“Shh...” Duo soothed, stroking Heero’s hair lovingly. “It’s all right... shush...”

Somehow, his words were like a permission to cry, to let it all out. It was okay, he was allowed to. So he cried. He clung to Duo in a desperate embrace and sobbed brokenly into his shoulder. He shed all of his pain out, coughing and sobbing it out of his body. As he did so he remembered the times when he had done the same over Nora’s shoulder, his mother’s hands holding him gently as he cried his anguish into her. She had helped him with so much, with the pain and the nightmares, with his search for identity and his right to live. Remembering her warm hug, the soft things she whispered to him when he awoke shaken from a nightmare, it only made his tears bitterer and his sobbing more hurt filled. He shook like a leaf in Duo’s hold, crying until there were no more tears left to cry.

Duo was crying too, soundless tears slowly crawling down his cheeks. He was biting his lower lip to keep from whimpering. He held Heero tight, feeling him shake and doing his best to remain the steady pillar of strength his lover needed right now. There will be another time for his tears; right now he was here to absorb Heero’s sadness into him. Anything to make it go away. So he cried silently, trying to be strong even as he buried his face in Heero’s dark hair, shedding his tears into the soft chocolate strands in an attempt to hide them.

Neither of them knew for how long they just stood there, crying. For a long while the only sound inside the large funeral hall was Heero’s choked out sobs and Duo’s sniffling. They echoed between the wooden walls and bounced off the ceiling only to return much louder and stronger. After a while, the sound slowly faded as both lovers calmed. With a loud sniffle, Heero pulled away from Duo’s embrace, slowly detaching his own arms from around his lover. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and ran a trembling hand through his hair in a pitiful attempt to tidy it.

Duo did the same. Pulling away from Heero, he made a hopeless attempt to tidy himself up. He took a moment to look at the closed coffin, so still and lifeless as it stood in the center of the room. He used that time to try and compose himself, and when he turned back to Heero, he saw that his lover had beat him to it. While there were still traces of dry tears down his features, Heero’s face was calm and composed again, almost business like.

“What now?” Duo asked, his voice a bit rough from crying.

“I have to go check on Hikari’s grave. I need to make sure that they removed it.” Heero said as if he was speaking about a person other than himself, which in a way he was. He felt little attachment to the name ‘Hikari’. He often wondered if he should be upset by it, being that ‘Hikari’ was the name he was given at birth, but he found that he wasn’t. Even Nora refused to call him Hikari. She said that it was not who he was anymore, and she accepted it. Just like he accepted the fact that he could never call her ‘mother’. He knew that she was indeed his mother but he will always remember her as Nora. The woman who brought him to life, twice.

“Would you like to go back to the hotel after that?” Duo asked, bringing Heero out of his musings.

Walking towards the main office, Heero nodded. “Yes. I’d like to get some sleep before the funeral.”

* * *

Sleep didn’t come easy. Heero spent an hour and a half tossing and turning in bed, fighting for a few miserable moments of unfulfilling sleep. Duo was sitting quietly on the sofa, channel surfing in an attempt to quiet his mind. One didn’t have to think while watching television, though his mind proved that theory wrong. There were too many thoughts circling in his head. He listened to Heero toss from side to side and punch his pillow, trying to sleep. He continued to stare numbly at the television, all the while his mind thinking about the death of his loved ones. There was too much death in his head right now, as he was sure there was in Heero’s. It was hard to handle, even though they tried. They lost too many loved ones too many times. Nora’s death, while it was expected, opened too many old wounds.

He didn’t want to think about it, he never did, but those thoughts came if he wanted them or not. There was too much death. Too much blackness trying to sip into his head. He shook it and tried to focus his attention on a silly cartoon playing in front of him. He tried to smile at a stupid cartoon gag, but once he figured that he wasn’t fooling anyone, he dropped the act. There was no need to pretend. He didn’t feel like trying anyway. He knew that Heero hated it when he wore his joker mask, when he began to pretend. “It’s the biggest lie of all.” His lover always said, looking at him with those captivating, anguished eyes, silently asking him- ‘Please don’t lie to me.’

So he didn’t. Or at least he tried. It was hard to let go of the mask he had been wearing for so long, but Heero helped him. He always did.

From the other side of the room, Duo could hear Heero curse softly and throw a pillow off the bed. The sound of the falling cushion was followed by a tired sigh. He looked up from the television when he heard Heero get up and walk towards him. His bear feet padded softly on the dark red carpet, moving soundlessly, but still Duo could feel him approach. He looked up at him and offered a small, miserable, smile.

“Can’t sleep?”

“No.” Heero grumbled, settling next to Duo. The sofa was small, with barely enough room for two, and Duo’s long legs were occupying most of it. He folded his legs to make Heero some room, and the two sat cuddled against each other.

“There’s a cool horror movie on.” Duo commented silently, gesturing at the television with the remote. “Wanna watch?”

Heero sighed heavily, leaning his head on Duo’s shoulder. “Enough death.” He mumbled tiredly, inching closer to his lover, their limbs entwined until it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. Duo wrapped his arm around Heero’s shoulder and pulled him closer. He shifted his head so he could kiss Heero’s hair and then turned back to watch the screen. He changed the channels until he found the cartoon again.

“Well then, I hope you like Mickey Mouse...” He mumbled with half a smile. Heero snorted, half asleep.

They lay snuggled on the couch, lost in thought as the colorful cartoon images raced over the TV screen. The room was silent and dark, even though it was high noon. Heero closed the lights and curtains before he went to sleep and the only light in the room was the flickering of the television. The silence was heavy, almost solid, as it hung in the air.

Lying against Duo’s warm body, engulfed by the scent of laundry softener emitting from his blue sweatshirt, Heero found sleep more attainable. He relaxed and sunk deeper into the webs of sleep, his mind finally at ease. The silence seemed more pleasant as he was pulled deeper and deeper into slumber. He was just about to cross the bridge between sleep and awake, when he heard Duo’s voice whisper.

“I just can’t stop thinking about it, yanno?” Duo said, his voice terribly silent, as if he was afraid of waking old demons just by speaking about it. Maybe that’s why he rarely did.

Heero opened his eyes, staring ahead at the television. “You never had a chance for closure.”

Duo closed his eyes briefly and looked away. “There was nothing left of the church, there was nothing to get closure from.”

“We can go there.”

Duo swallowed, still facing away from Heero. The Japanese man shifted so he was sitting next to Duo, and reached for his hand. “It might help you if you’ll see it again.”

“I don’t want to see it.”

“I didn’t want to come here either, Duo. But it was something I had to do.”

He sighed, turning back to Heero. “I tried to go there, you know. After the war... I spent two years in space trying to gather the courage to go there, and in the end... I didn’t. I couldn’t.”

“Things changed.” Heero reminded him. He reached a hand to cup Duo’s chin, gently turning him towards him. “You changed.”

Duo smiled, a weak, yet grateful, smile. “Look who’s talking.” He mumbled, and kissed Heero’s hand.

Heero smiled and pulled his hand away. “Think about it.” he said, settling more comfortably into the sofa. “You’ll get your closure and that jacket you wanted.”

That earned a small laugh out of Duo. The ice melted and the heavy tension was gone in a second. Heero smiled to himself. Duo’s laughter, even when he was feeling down, could have a magical affect on everything around him. It made things so much simple. So much easier to bear. Even the weight of mourning.

“All right, Heero, I’ll think about it.” Duo said more thoughtfully, and then snuggled against his lover. He let his brain absorb a few cartoon images that flickered on the television and then smirked. “But if I don’t find that jacket, you’re a dead man!”

* * *

Merely an hour before the funeral they made love furiously. Under the warm shower stream, the two lost themselves in passion. Both were in desperate need for contact, for the feeling of life pumping so vigorously through their veins. Hot, maddening passion awakening their bodies with need. The desperate breathes, the helpless gasps, moaning and the frantic beating of their hearts. Life. In the most primal form of it.

Heero was pressed against the white porcelain, his back sliding up and down the slick wall as Duo drove into him. His legs were wrapped tightly around Duo’s waist, to keep from falling. His body knew nothing but the burning pleasure his lover’s movement inside him evoked. The tempo was mad, every thrust almost violent. It hurt, and it drove him insane with the intensity of it. He was screaming in pleasure, moaning and groaning loudly with every hit that made sparkling white sensations burst inside of him.

His features were damp from the shower, washed with pleasure, tears and water. Duo’s tempo slowed down in an attempt to prolong the pleasure. There was sudden gentleness in his movements, his grip on Heero’s hips loosening up a bit. They moved slowly, the passionate craze of wild sex melting into a slow, gentle lovemaking.

Heero’s moans became silent whimpering of pleasure as he felt Duo’s length move slowly inside him, letting him feel his entire length brush along his inner walls. He cherished the feeling, all warm and moist inside of him. His cheeks were flushed, a rosy color that painted his features as his eyes closed in pure pleasure. He leaned his head back against the wall, sinking into sensation. Duo rocked gently inside of him. He let his hands wander up Duo’s back, grabbing a handful of his thick wet hair.

Tears filled his eyes. He was weeping Duo’s name, moaning it and breathing it as the hot water rained from above. His mouth opened in a silent cry as Duo’s warm lips found his nipple and began to suck it gently. There were more kisses, everywhere on him. And Duo’s flesh... it was still moving inside of him. So warm. He thought he heard himself sobbing. When Duo kissed away his tears, he realized that he was crying. He did not care. There was so much love inside of him, he couldn’t help but crying. It almost hurt.

Their pace grew quicker. Still pressed against the wall, Heero pushed his hips forward, meeting Duo’s every thrust. His legs tightened around Duo’s waist. There would be bruises there later, but neither of them cared. Heero threw his head back and cried out in pleasure, his body convulsing under the approaching orgasm.

As the mist of pleasure began to close in on his rational mind, a flickering thought, like a fluttering butterfly, flew through his mind. He somehow knew, that wherever Nora was, she was looking down at this and smirking. He could still enjoy life, just like she had wanted him to. Smiling to himself, Heero wrapped both his arms around Duo’s neck and he pushed down against him one last time. He threw his head back as he shouted with the force of his climax, a scream so loud and full of passion, that the sheer force of it brought on Duo’s climax as well.

Spent, tired and panting, the two collapsed down to the porcelain floor. They were both grateful for being alive.

* * *

“God, our Creator,” The old Minister opened in a prayer, standing in front of Nora’s grave. Duo and Heero were standing at the opposite side, looking down at the grave as they held hands.

“The death of our beloved Nora, recalls our human condition and the brevity of our lives on earth...” The Priest continued, and Duo looked away, his eyes scanning the graveyard.

The cemetery was silent, as to be expected of it, of course. The dead had no use for sound, nor did they have any use for the greenery around them. It didn’t matter though, Duo mused. A cemetery was more for the living than for the dead. It was a place for mourning, a place to visit and cry over a beloved’s grave. Perhaps the dead appreciated it, in a way. But Duo was never one to believe in greater things like the afterlife and such. He saw no reason in it. If there was such a thing as the so-called afterlife, why did people fight so hard to live? Why was the survival instinct ingrained so deeply into the human brain? Why did a drowning man fight for his very last breath if he knew that there was something better out there? Why bother? To Duo, the answer was simple. People struggled to stay alive because deep down they knew that there is no great reward after living. There’s just death. Cold, black and heartless death. No existence.

“But for those who believe in your love death is not the end, nor does it destroy the bonds that you forge in our lives.”

And therefore he didn’t even bother to listen as the Minister offered a last prayer for Nora’s soul. It meant nothing. It was all formality. God was not listening, he never did. Father Maxwell tried to convince him otherwise once, but he had failed. Perhaps if he hadn't been brutally murdered, things would have ended differently. Perhaps his faith would have been restored. But things didn’t work out that way. The Priest standing if front of them spoke empty words without meaning. He was sure that Heero felt the same about it. He was rather certain that Nora felt the same too.

Still, it was just for formality. The cemetery did not allow a burial without a Priest and a proper ceremony. So let the man speak, Duo concluded. Get it over and done with.

“We share the faith of your Son's disciples and the hope of the children of God. Bring the light of Christ's resurrection to this time of testing and pain as we pray for Nora and for those who love her through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Duo rolled his eyes, but still, out of simple respect towards the old man, muttered a small “Amen.”

The old Minister smiled and closed his book. He bowed his head humbly and offered a silent ‘I’m sorry’ before leaving the two alone by the grave.

“Well, that was pointless.” Duo commented dryly, flipping his braid over his shoulder.

Heero shrugged, taking a step closer to the fresh grave. “I don’t know. It’s a nice idea.”

“Oh please!” Duo snorted. “It was just a bunch of useless words he says at EVERY funeral.”

Crouching on the ground in front of his mother’s grave, Heero turned to look up at his lover. “I’m not saying I believe in it, but you must admit that the thought is comforting.”

Duo sighed, slumping his shoulders. “Do you really believe she’s in a better place?” He asked, looking at Heero in defeat.

Heero shrugged and placed a small garland of flowers on Nora’s grave. “Sometimes. It comforts me.”

“I thought you don’t believe in that stuff.” Duo muttered, frowning.

Heero smiled at him, his eyes shining with amusement. “It’s a bit contradictive, I admit.” he said slowly, thoughtfully, “But when I think about it this way, it makes things easier.”

“So you think that all the people we’ve killed went to Hell, Heaven or whatever?”

Heero frowned, a dark cloud shading his eyes. “Lets not get into that, Duo.” He said almost coldly, rising up to his feet.

Duo sighed and waved his hands in a helpless motion. “Sorry. It’s a touchy subject, that’s all.”

Heero nodded in understanding, once again thinking that it would be a very good idea to visit L2 after this ordeal will be over. His lover needed to put an end to his struggle, and visiting the ruins of the Maxwell Church was the only way to do it. But that, he would leave for another time.

Standing in front of the fresh grave, Heero looked down at it solemnly. Only a few hours ago a tombstone bearing his name was hovering over an empty grave. Now, another headstone, bearing his mother’s name, replaced the gravestone bearing the name of Hikari Ishikawa. There was irony in there somewhere, or something akin to it. Fate, if you may. It was easier to believe in Fate than in God. He often amused himself with the idea. Wasn’t meeting his mother by pure chance, and therefore bringing her absolution, a sign of higher powers guiding them? He never gave it much thought, but he did know one thing- there was no such thing as coincidence. There was something more powerful, more meaningful behind all this. Maybe one day he will find out what, exactly. Maybe he will be able to help Duo find out as well.

Duo stepped forward to take his hand, giving it a light squeeze. “She died happy, Heero.” He said, his voice soothing. “She was grateful for the chance to meet you.”

Smiling weakly, Heero closed his eyes. “I know.” He whispered, squeezing Duo’s hand. “I’m grateful for it too. I just... I just wish that...”

“That you didn’t have to lose her again, I know.” Duo finished where Heero’s words failed. He leaned his head on Heero’s shoulder, watching the grave as well. “But you have to look at it this way- it was a miracle that you two met. You had the chance to affect each other’s lives, and for the best.”

Heero smiled a small, hidden, smile. He had just been thinking the same thing.

“She was happy to know you, to be with you. She died with a smile, Heero. It’s also something to be thankful for.”

“I know.” Heero whispered and turned to Duo, taking both his hands in his. “There was a meaning behind it, Duo. I’m sure.”

The young braided man offered a small, doubtful, smile in return. “Maybe.” He said, looking away. He was facing the large gate leading out of the cemetery and into a small parking lot. His eyes narrowed as he saw two cars pull over by the gate. He watched as a couple, a man and a woman, walked out of the first car. Their outfits were black, as was their hair, and they were both fairly short. The woman was carrying flowers.

Duo frowned, leaning forward a bit in order to see better. Could it be? Dare he hope?

Another couple exited the second car. Also a man and a woman. The woman was blond, her hair contrasting with her black outfit. The man, her husband perhaps, was carrying flowers.

Duo watched the two pairs walk stiffly towards one another. They stopped in a great distance from each other, shaking hand but their movements were stiff. Duo could tell, even from this distance, that the four knew each other, but were not very fond of one another. There was great tension between them. It was obvious even from nearly 200 meters away. There was no doubt about it. It’s them. They made it.

Breathing in relief, Duo turned to Heero and tapped on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Heero, look.” He said, pointing at the gate. Heero turned, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he watched the two couples walk into the cemetery. His mouth hung open with a forming question, but Duo beat him to it.

“The couple over there,” Duo said, gesturing at the blond woman and her husband, “They made it all the way from Earth. I called them last night.”

“Who are they?” Heero asked, his voice full of wonder as he watched the entourage approach.

“Nora wanted you to meet them.” Was all Duo said, and Heero understood. There was no more need for questions. She knew him so well that she knew that she had to keep this a secret from him. He would have run away if she hadn’t.

He stood quietly and watched them approach. The first two were both Japanese, around forty years of age. The man, he could see the resemblance to his father, was a few inches taller than him, with pleasant features and tidy black hair. The woman, who must be his wife, was a short and chubby woman, with long curly black hair and features that could only be described as ‘motherly’. When their eyes met, she smiled at him, a big warm smile he had seen on some Christmas movie. He nodded in acknowledgement and turned to look at the other couple.

The blond woman was walking stiffly and determinedly towards the grave, her head held high. Her dyed blond hair was set in a short and elegant hairstyle, bouncing up and down as she walked. She was dressed in a black business suit, her features as hard as stone as she walked. Her face betrayed nothing, but he couldn’t help but notice the anger in her blue eyes. Pure resentment, maybe even betrayal. He remembered what his mother told him about how she left her family on Earth in order to begin a new life in space, along with her husband. The family did not see eye to eye with her. That woman, she must be her sister.

The blond woman’s husband was walking a few steps behind her. He seemed more compassionate than his wife, his features honest and sorrowful as he walked towards the grave, holding a garland of flowers.

The Japanese man stopped in front of Heero and offered his hand for a handshake. “Daisuke Ishikawa, your uncle. Hajimemashite.” He said, smiling genlty.

Heero smiled and nodded in return. He reached a hesitant hand to shake with the man before him. “Heero Yuy.”

The man smiled and nodded in return. He gestured at the woman by his side. “My wife, Maya.”

The Japanese woman took a small bow and smiled warmly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Heero.” She said, her tone slightly sheepish. “The last time we met you were three years old.” She commented with a bitter smile, though her brown eyes shone brightly. They were gradually filling with tears, until the motherly woman could hold back no more and she hugged Heero tightly.

“It’s so great to see you!” She called, nearly suffocating him. “How you’ve grown!” She continued excitedly, pulling back to have a good look at him. “My, my! You look just like your father! Doesn’t he, Daisuke?” She said, turning her cheeky face to her husband.

Daisuke smiled kindly and nodded his head. He did not turn his eyes off Heero. “I’m your father’s older brother,” he explained, “And seeing you now reminds me of how he was when we were little. The resemblance is uncanny.”

Heero managed to smile back, somehow. He was still in shock. This whole situation was more than bizarre. It was almost unreal. He turned to the other couple. He noted that the man was laying the flowers by the grave. The blond woman was looking at him impatiently, tapping her black high heel shoe on the ground.

When she noted that Heero was looking at her, she turned to him with her cold eyes. Her lips rose in a sarcastic impression of a smile. “Vanessa Woodridge,” she snapped as if annoyed by the fact that she must introduce herself. “Nora’s older sister.” She added and then gestured at her husband. “My husband, Wayne.”

The man, who struck Heero like the submissive kind, a poor fellow ruled by his wife’s iron rules, approached him with a warm smile. They shook hands. “Nice to meet you, Heero.”

Vanessa glared at both of them and then turned back to Heero. “We never met, so I don’t have any cute stories to tell you. I only came here to pay my last respects to my foolish sister.”

Heero nodded, taking an unconscious step back. He didn’t like that woman and he felt uncomfortable under her gaze. Clearing his throat, he gestured at Duo who was standing silently by his side.

“This is Duo Maxwell.” He said and Duo took a step forward. “He’s my--”

“I’m a good friend of Heero’s.” Duo cut in, shaking Wayne’s and Daisuke’s hand with a smile.

“We’re lovers.” Heero corrected, catching Duo, and everyone, by surprise. He glared defiantly at everyone. He had no business lying to these people, and he was unwilling to hide who he was. He was not ashamed of his love for Duo, nor was he going to hide it from people he didn’t even know. They might be his family by blood and law, but Duo was his life. How can he deny someone so important? Duo might have thought he was protecting him by presenting himself as a mere friend, but the way Heero saw it- there was nothing to be protected from. If those people couldn’t accept his as whom he was, there was no reason for him to accept them as his family. It was that simple.

Both men seemed rather shocked, and Vanessa was appalled. Maya was the first to recover. Blushing lightly, she reached a hand towards Duo.

“Well! Uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Duo.” She said and shook his hand. Her husband, Daisuke, did the same. Wayne was the next to follow, mumbling an embarrassed “How do you do?”

Only Vanessa remained standing frozen, as if afraid that if she will move, she will somehow be contaminated by something like AIDS.

“Did Nora...” She began, her voice trailing off as she looked back at Heero.

“Yes, she knew.” Heero cut in. “She had no problem with it.”

Wayne smiled, a wide and toothy smile. Heero couldn’t help but think that this man was with the wrong woman. “That’s Nora all right. She was always a free spirit!”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “And look where it got her. She left Earth for the Colonies, went blind and then died of cancer. Pff! Good going!”

Her words hurt Heero more than any physical pain. How dare this woman, his aunt no less, speak that way of the most amazing woman he ever knew? How dare she!

He turned to her with an angry glare that could have made the entire oceans freeze over. “Nora lived her life to the fullest, and she had no regrets.” His voice was cold and hard as he spoke, his cobalt eyes piercing into the blond woman with a vengeance. “She died happy. Not many people attain that privilege.”

Vanessa seemed to get angrier at every word, her shoulders trembling as if she was about to launch at Heero with her fists. Wayne placed a strong hand around her shoulders, to restrain her more than to calm her. He smiled apologetically. “Forgive my wife, Heero. She is just upset. Nora’s death affected her greatly, despite what it may look like.”

“Sure doesn’t seem that way to me...” Maya whispered to her husband out the corner of her mouth. Duo caught her words and smiled in amusement. That was woman was cooler than he expceted her to be.

“You shouldn’t have come here, Vanessa.” Daisuke intervened, his tone reprimanding.

“I have every right to be here! She was my sister!” The woman growled.

“You can at least try to forgive her.” Maya said softly, her gaze compassionate as she gazed at the angry woman. “Your eyes hold the same amount of anger they held at Hayashi’s funeral. You had a chance to forgive her then, when she needed you the most. But here you are now, still spitting angry words at everybody.”

The blond woman opened her mouth to reply sharply, but no words came out. She remained gaping at the Japanese woman for a while, before snapping her mouth shut and whirling around to face he husband. “Come on, Wayne, we’re leaving.” She snapped, shoving her black purse under her armpit. “I don’t have to take this from you! Any of you!” She muttered angrily, turning her back to them as she stalked towards the gate.

Wayne offered a helpless, apologetic smile. “She doesn’t handle grief very well.” He explained and it seemed like he was about to say something more, before thinking better of it. With a final little smile, he clumsily shook Daisuke’s and Maya’s hands.

“It was good to see you all again. Take care.” He said, and then turned to Heero. “She’s not a bad woman.” He said, his expression giving the impression that he knew that his words were useless. “I’m glad to see that you’re still alive, Heero. Take care.” He nodded his goodbye to the young Japanese man and hurried to follow his wife.

Heero watched the two enter the car. It was a while before they drove off. Heero thought he could see Vanessa collapse into tears in the driver’s seat, but he couldn’t be sure. It was probably his imagination, but when he looked up again, he could see Wayne leaning towards her, offering a comforting hug. The woman shoved him away and started the car. And just like that, they were gone. He couldn’t help but get the feeling that he will never see them again.

“Good riddance.” Maya muttered, rolling her eyes. She turned back to her nephew. “I never liked her,” she said, “I never understood what business she had in Hayashi’s funeral. Nora was feeling torn apart as it is, and then that woman came and tried to convince her to come back home to the family business! How insensitive!” She exclaimed, turning to watch Daisuke who was kneeling in front of his brother’s grave, pulling out a few weeds from around the tombstone. His movements were careful and loving. It almost hurt to watch.

“Nora couldn’t bear to leave this place, where she buried her family.” Maya mumbled, her gaze forlorn as she watched her husband rest his hand over the headstone, touching Hayashi’s name.

“But she did.” Heero pointed out, feeling the urge to know more. “Why?”

Maya sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know.” She said, turning back to her nephew. “Maybe the memories became too much. Daisuke and I, we offered all the help we could give, but after some time she refused us. She wanted to forget, I suppose. So she went back to Earth. We never heard from her since. We knew nothing of her whereabouts, until Duo called us yesterday.”

Heero turned to look at his lover, and Duo offered a small, sheepish smile in return.

“Are you two staying here long?” Daisuke asked, finally rising to his feet. He came to stand by his wife. He looked at Heero straight in the eye, and for the first time Heero noted that the Japanese man in front of him had grayish-green eyes.

Daisuke smiled. “Would you like to see where you used to live?”

* * *

They drove in Daisuke’s car. Heero and Duo sat in the back seat while the Japanese couple sat in the front. It was a fancy car, very expensive looking, as to be expected out of L1’s residents. It made Heero a little uncomfortable, knowing that he came from such a wealthy family. Maya had mentioned somewhere along the ride that Nora’s family was also quite wealthy. Her father owned a large oil company back on Earth. He had no sons, only his two daughters and he counted on them to be his successors. He also wanted a male successor, a grandson. Being that Vanessa was barren, he placed his hopes with Nora. But his daughter failed him by moving to the Colonies to be the housewife of an ambassador. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her, even when he heard that she gave birth to a boy and that he finally had a grandson. Vanessa took over the company when the old man died. Heero began to develop a major headache from the entire story. Duo muttered something about ‘soap operas’, and both of them did their best to change the subject.

“So, uh, Daisuke,” Duo began in a friendly tone, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I noted that your eyes are sort of green. And I saw a picture of Hayashi and he also had green eyes, so, uh...” He got tangled in his own words, losing his question, but Daisuke already caught on. He laughed well heartedly.

“I imagine that you’ve noticed that most of the people in this colony are from European origin.” He said, looking at the road as he drove. Duo could see a history lesson coming up. He looked up at Heero with an expression that pleaded for salvation, anything but another space-history lesson, his eyes begged, but Heero just smirked and shook his head in a helpless gesture.

Daisuke noticed none of that and continued talking. “When humans began to colonize space, Earth governments were getting worried about the population leaving the county. It would devastate the economy. Some countries, like Japan, issued a law that forbade its citizens from leaving the country. Kind of like China in the early 20th century.”

“So how come you’re here?” Duo said, rather tactlessly. He got Heero’s elbow in his ribs as a response.

The Japanese man chuckled. “Well, some people made it up here anyway. And later on, laws were changed. But there weren’t that many Asian people in space, so obviously they had to ‘mingle’, if you pardon the expression, with others who were mostly European or American, people who could afford to move to space. The integration took about two or three generation, but the result is clear.”

“Japanese people with pretty blue eyes?” Duo offered with a cocky smile and a raised eyebrow. Next to him, Heero snorted and muttered a silent ‘baka’.

Maya chuckled. “That’s one way to put it. Some people call us ‘half breeds’. Ch! Like we’re dogs or something!”

“Do you remember how to speak Japanese, Heero?” Daisuke asked, glancing briefly over his shoulder to face his young nephew.

Heero felt a warm blush rise to his cheeks. He hoped that no one could see it. “A little.” He admitted. “But I understand most of it.”

The older man nodded. “Hayashi felt very strongly about teaching you the language. Not many Colonists speak it anymore. Our mother insisted that we teach our children Japanese.”

Heero blinked, suddenly realizing, maybe for the first time, that he had a family now. Uncles, aunts, cousins and nieces, he even had a grandmother once! It was a heavy realization. He sunk back into the car seat, overwhelmed.

“Nora agreed to learn Japanese when she was pregnant with you.” Maya continued to story. “She and Hayashi agreed to speak only Japanese at home until you were three, so you will learn and remember the language, and only then teach you English. We did the same with our children.”

Heero smiled. “Yes, I know. She told me.” He made a mental note to brush up on his Japanese. He didn’t want to fail his parents by forgetting the language. He decided to take courses, maybe even learn how to write.

“How many children do you have?” Duo asked, leaning forward towards Maya’s seat. He could see the huge grin lighten the proud mother’s face.

“Three. Chidori, Kesuke and little Subaru. Well, not so little anymore, he’s just about to enter college. Our birds flew from the nest a long time ago.”

Duo nodded in understanding. He suddenly wondered if one of them had joined the army, maybe OZ or the White Fang. He doubted Daisuke and Maya would have let them, but he couldn’t help but wonder if they ever met on the battlefield. He got these kind of ideas every once in a while when he met someone who was at the right age. It was twisted thinking, but he couldn’t help it. The war screwed up with his thinking rather badly.

“Stop.” He could hear Heero say, as he placed his hand on his elbow. “You’re thinking about it again.” Heero whispered harshly, knowing exactly what his lover was thinking. Maybe it was because he was thinking about the same thing. He wanted to ask his uncle, but thought better of it. He didn’t want to bring up the war. It was a touchy subject. The two innocents sitting in front of him had no idea about his past. He wondered if they would have any problem with it if he told them. Something inside him told him that they wouldn’t. They’ve already accepted him. Still, there was always the fear of being rejected. While he had no problem telling people about his sexual preferences, he did avoid telling them about his role during the war. He was proud and shameless about his love, but he was uncomfortable with mentioning his blooded past.

“We’re here.” Daisuke finally announced as he pulled into a narrow street. Duo and Heero turned to look out the window. Heero’s eyes widened with a smile when he saw the green park stretching out the window. The drove by it slowly until Daisuke stopped the car in a small parking lot. It took Heero a short while before he could bring himself to move and exit the car. He reached shaking legs down to the ground, slowly standing up. His eyes looked around in wonder, absorbing the scene.

This was it. This was the park. He’d seen it so many times in his dreams, even before he met Nora. It was his private heaven. He always felt at ease when he dreamt about it. And now he was here. He was home.

The green park was rather small and modest. There was a large green hill surrounded by small planes of grass. Yellow gravel roads circled the small park, all of them leading to the center where a large sandbox and a playground stood. The playground was colorful and bright, consisting of many slides, swings and other enjoyable equipment. Small children were running and playing around the playing field, screaming and calling out in laughter. Young mothers called after them worriedly, chasing after their little rascals.

Heero smiled. He remembered the pride he felt when his mother let him go to the park all by himself. He liked to roll on the grass, down the hill and past the playground. He remembered the worms he had in a jar. His father told him that they’ll become butterflies one day, but they just died. He felt so guilty for killing them. He remembered how he cried against his father’s chest, feeling so bad for what he had done. He was only three years old. It was so long ago, yet he remembered. How can he forget? Those were his last few precious memories from the time he had a family. Those memories were lost to him for so long, but for the past year he had slowly gained them back. This park, the age of innocence it presented, raised even more sweet memories from his heart. It was a wonderful feeling, something akin to love.

“Do you recognize the building, Heero?” Daisuke asked, coming to stand by his side. He was pointing at the edge of the park, where a few tall and fancy condominiums were towering over the street. They were partly hidden by the trees in the park, but Heero could still see a few colorful flowerpots standing outside a balcony or two.

“Hai.” He whispered, smiling. “Second building to the right, behind the trees in the park.” He said, almost chanting. That’s how he always remembered it as a child, and that memory stuck with him for as long as he lived. It was the only thing he remembered from his childhood even when he was with Odin or with J. He would look out the window, his expression forlorn as he quietly whispered it over and over. ‘Second building to the right’. That’s where home was, he knew. Odin used to mock him for it, calling him ‘Peter Pan’. He even gave him the name ‘Peter’ on one of their missions. Heero hated him for it.

“Would you like to go in?” His uncle offered. “Someone else lives there of course, but I’m sure that they wouldn’t mind if you had a look around.”

“No, that’s okay.” Heero replied in a distant, dreamy voice, still looking at the white building. “I remember it.”

He felt Duo come to stand by his side, taking his hand. He didn’t turn to look at him, his eyes glued to the sight of a young mother playing with her son.

“I’ll go wait in the car.” Daisuke mumbled sheepishly and left the two lovers alone. He entered the car, where his wife was waiting, and the two watched the couple standing in the park, their expression wistful.

“He’s really back, isn’t he?” Maya mumbled, her eyes tearful. She was speaking Japanese.

“Hai.” Her husband agreed, also in Japanese. “He looks so much like him, dear. It’s amazing.”

She smiled. “Nora knew what she was doing when she reunited us.” She said, turning to face her husband with tearful eyes. “I think that they would both like us to be a part of his life. Hayashi wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Daisuke nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving the sight of the young Japanese man walking into the park, holding hands with his braided lover. “Though he would have a fit if he knew Hikari was gay.” He commented with a humorous tone.

Maya chuckled and slapped him playfully over the head. “Oh anata!” She called. “That was so mean!”

And the two burst into a well-hearted laughter, one of which they didn’t have in years.

* * *

They parted ways with Daisuke and Maya after the trip to the park. The married couple dropped them off at the hotel, after making the two promise that they will meet them for dinner at least once before they leave the colony. Maya insisted that Heero would meet his cousins and niece. He had no choice but to agree, his aunt was an insistent woman.

That evening, they ordered dinner to their room. A dish of roast beef and pasta, along with a bottle of red wine. Duo scattered candles all around the room and Heero spread a small picnic map on the floor. The two sat in the middle of the room, within a sea of candles, and ate their dinner. They saved the dessert for the shower. Filling the Jacuzzi with water, the two settled in the warm water, trying to relax. It had been a very long day.

Heero was sitting behind Duo, his back resting against the smooth porcelain of the large bathtub. Duo was sitting between Heero’s straddles legs, his back pressed against his chest. His hair was unbound, floating lazily over the water. They didn’t turn the Jacuzzi on, so the water was still. Duo poured nearly half a bottle of soap and bath oils into the tub and the exotic aroma filled the room. There were three candles burning in various places around the large bathroom, casting a dim orange light on everything. Shadows danced gracefully across the walls, and the only sound was the dripping of water when either of them moved.

Heero raised his hand out of the water, holding a soaked sponge. He wringed a bit and then pressed it against Duo’s shoulder, slowly massaging him. He felt like spoiling his longhaired lover. Duo surely deserved it. He had done so much for him lately, more than he could ever repay for. Tonight, he wanted to pamper him, show him his love in a more tender, sweeter way. Besides, after their little lovemaking session that afternoon, he was too sore to do much more.

He let the sponge travel up and down Duo’s body, carefully washing him. He smiled as he felt Duo melt against him, purring in delight. Looking down he could see that Duo closed his eyes, his expression that of pure bliss. He leaned down and kissed his wet forehead.

“Nice?” He asked quietly.

“Mum hmm...” Duo hummed, too busy being a boneless puddle of goo in order to form any real words.

Heero chuckled. “Thought so.” He said, dipping the sponge into the water, letting it slide down Duo’s broad chest, across his abdomen... and then a little lower. He smirked as Duo yelped silently, opening his eyes and looking straight up to him.

“Keep doing that, lover-boy, and I’m going to forget all about your sore ass.” He teased, a cocky smile on his lips.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Heero teased back, but withdrew the sponge anyway. “Come on, sit up.” He said, nudging Duo gently. The longhaired man whined in response, but compelled to the request. He sat up, still sitting between Heero’s long legs, his hair plastered to his back. He heard Heero open a shampoo bottle, and the sweet scent of vanilla and almonds filled the air.

“You got my favorite.” Duo said, closing his eyes in bliss as Heero rubbed the cool substance into his scalp.

“No, I got _my_ favorite.” He corrected. Duo chuckled. He relaxed even more, leaning his head down so his chin rested on his chest, and indulged in the feeling of Heero’s fingers massaging his scalp. He felt Heero gather the heavy weight of his wet hair into his hands and applying the shampoo to the long strands as well. The feeling was nice. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had washed his hair. It had never been done so tenderly, so carefully. He loved Heero so much.

The pleasant ministrations continued, bestowing delightful feelings upon him, starting in his hair and spreading to his entire body. His heart felt so light, he began humming. His pleasant voice filled the bathroom with a cheerful, catchy tune. Heero smiled at the gleeful melody.

“What song is it?” He asked, beginning to rinse Duo’s hair. He guided him gently back into the water, leaning down so that Duo could lean on him as well.

The longhaired man shrugged. “I don’t know. I made it up.” He answered simply, a gooey smile spreading on his lips at the feeling of Heero’s fingers against his scalp again. He returned to humming it, and after a while, Heero joined in, humming silently along with him.

“Catchy, isn’t it?” Duo asked, looking up to seek his lover’s face, who was hovering somewhere above him. Heero smiled down at him, and Duo smiled back. He leaned down to kiss him on the lips. Without a word, he returned to washing his lover’s hair. The bathroom coated with a honey like silence, pleasant and warm in the same time. Duo’s pleasant voice continued to hum quietly, accompanied by the soft dripping of water as Heero shifted his position. He turned to hug his lover, both of them sinking deeper into the water. He pulled Duo close, one warm and slick body against another, and leaned back against the porcelain for support. Both lovers closed their eyes in pure bliss.

“Heero?” Duo broke the silence, opening his eyes.

“Hmm?”

Duo sighed. “I did some thinking, and...” he stopped, a dramatic pause, and then turned to look up at Heero. “I’m willing to make that trip to L2.” He said, his eyes shining under the mellow candlelight.

Heero smiled at him. “I’m glad.” He said, reaching up a dripping hand to caress Duo’s hair.

“But not now.” Duo added, “Maybe later.”

“When you’re ready.” Heero assured him, stroking his hair gently.

“Will we come back here?” He asked, leaning his head back so he could look up at Heero. He could feel Heero’s chest falter under him.

“I think so, yes.” He answered thoughtfully, looking down at Duo. “Why?”

Duo smirked and then shrugged casually. “Oh, nothing. I just think that Maya is a really cool woman, yanno? She can kick some serious ass.”

Heero chuckled and shook his head. “You know what you are, don’t you?”

Duo grinned. “Yup! A total baka!” He called out in pride, waving an imaginary flag in the air.

Heero sighed dramatically, shaking his head at the act. “And that’s why I love you, isn’t it?”

“If nothing else, I make life much more interesting.” His lover pointed out. “Not to mention I’m great in bed.”

“Baka!” Heero called and smacked him over the head.

“Uncle Daisuke was right, Heero, you really do need to catch up on your Japanese. You seem to be repeating the same word over and over again...” Duo said, speaking like a rebuking teacher.

“You are hopeless, Duo. Hontou ni.”

The grin was back on Duo’s lips as he melted into Heero’s warm body, sinking against him with a pleasant sigh. “Mumm... and that’s why you love me so much...”

Heero smiled and wrapped his arms around Duo’s slick body. “Hai, Duo, that’s why I love you so much.”

They returned to lying silently in the warm water, soaked with love and warmth. Ten days later, the two returned to Earth, and life went on.

* * *


End file.
